My Sister Priestess in the Sacred Mists wrote a beautiful piece in her journal about the topic of Initiation.
Today, we welcomed several of our brothers and sisters into the Priest/esshood of the Sacred Mists, as they Initiated to the First Degree. I offer them the warmest of congratulations and welcome them into the Coven and the Service of the Lord and Lady with all my heart.

Naturally, this started me thinking about Initiation and what this means to me, and what this means to the larger Wiccan community.

I think that there is a need to stress the seriousness and importance of what Initiation is and what it means. It is not simply a ritual to welcome someone into a group like joining a sorority or fraternity. It isn’t just being accepted by a coven, or awknowledging the end of a period of study with a ritual. It’s not like a convocation, either. Initiation is nothing less than crossing a spiritual threshold, pulling back a veil and moving to the other side, with no ability to turn back. It is taking a Sacred Oath to the Gods and Goddesses, and to all of the Universe. It is an unending bond between you and your coven mates. It pledges loyalty to your Tradition and a serious decision to walk that Tradition with honor, joy, honesty, and sincerity.

My first Initiation was at Ostara 2002. I had been studying with a group called Circle of the Goddess (COTG) via distance for over two years. In a brave and brazen (and risky, “crazy” as some said) move, I flew alone to the United States, something I had never done before, to be Initiated by Priest/esses that I had never met in person but had studied with intently for some time. I was to stay at the home of my High Priest and Priestess (Who were also a married couple) in Santa Clara, California, somewhere I had never been.

To say that those first steps beyond the curtain to Initiation was life shattering, deeply moving, profoundly emotional and filled with joy and reverence would be understatements. I cannot and will not ever divulge the secret rites that I went through during those miraculous days, but suffice to say, I was transformed.

Time passed, the group disbanded, and I was left feeling adrift and like I had no spiritual compass anymore. I started an eclectic circle which did not last long. I tried being a solitary, but something felt missing. I even tried to go back to the Catholic Church of my youth, as I was feeling like I didn’t know who or what I was anymore.That didn’t work, and I found myself longing for more direction and for a place that I truly felt would be my spiritual home.

But part of me remembered who I was, and what I was called to. I practiced again as a solitary and searched for the right tradition. I finally found what was to be my true spiritual home one autumn some five or six years ago now; The College of the Sacred Mists.

As I have mentioned several times on this blog, the Sacred Mists is home to me like none other; from the moment I was exploring the College, I *knew* in my heart that I had found my spiritual home and family, and that I wanted to be a part of the Tradition when I was able. A year and a day followed, a time where I grew closer to the Sacred Mists family and my desire to Initiate grew stronger. I grew and flourished as a Dedicant of the Sacred Mists.

When Initiation was offered, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be a Priestess of the Sacred Mists. When I Initiated with several of my brothers and sisters of the Mists, it was the most pivotal experience spiritually for me; I had come home, I had drawn back the veil and seen the face of the Goddess, and felt honored, blessed, and deeply joyful to be a Priestess in this beautiful tradition.

I continued my study and service to the Tradition, and am now a Third Degree Dedicant. I know that when it is offered, my Second Degree Initiation will be an experience like none other. I take my responsibilities as a Priestess of the Sacred Mists very seriously, with reverence and awe. I see this as a calling to be a teacher, leader, and mentor to others. I’m honored to be accepted by and to be a part of this beautiful tradition that is truly my spiritual home and family.

As it says in one of my favorite quotes from “The Mists of Avalon”, which the title of this blog comes from;

“How do you write of the making of a priestess? What is not obvious is secret. Those who have walked that road will know, and those who have not will never know though I should write down all the forbidden things.”

Being a Priestess is something that you become and that you are. It is not a “job” where you turn out the lights, lock the door, and head home at the end of the day. You are a Priestess 24/7. Being a Priestess becomes as much a part of you as your backbone is. You are one that serves the Gods, that teaches and is a mentor to others. Most of all, you are one that has agreed to take on every experience in life. Phyllis Curott, a well-known Wiccan High Priestess and author, says in her book “Book of Shadows” that a shaman is like a wounded healer; you can’t learn to heal others until you’ve learned to heal yourself.

To me, this says that we will go through many trials. And I have, and will, and I have the knowledge that they are all sent to craft me to Her service. In the myth of the descent of Inanna, She has to get rid of all the external trappings that are important to her: clothing, jewels, and prestige, in order to become a Queen. So must we. Our spiritual studies mirror what unfolds in our lives, and vice versa..it is all connected. That is why it is such a serious and important decision to be Initiated; we will be changed forever, and there will be many joys but also many challenges.

I know that a Priestess is what I was born to be, what I have been created for. I remember a Priest at my first Initiation said; “With every step your feet kiss the Mother Earth. Make every step count.”

I shall try, for the honor and joy of the God and Goddess, and for the Sacred Mists Tradition that I love so dearly.

There’s comfort found within “thinking inside the box” philosophy.
I went to a very conservative Roman Catholic high school. I was coming from a very liberal, Jesuit parish that stressed social justice and religious scholarship over obedience to dogma and strict observation to Catholic teaching. It was quite different at my new school, which was more like a pre-Vatican 2 way of thinking.

Believe it or not,at first I really liked it. We were told exactly what to do and what to believe in order to be “good”. If I had a question, there was an answer. Mortal sins equated Hell, until you repented properly and went to Confession. Your penance was ten Hail Mary’s. You didn’t go to Communion unless you had been to Confession first, and things followed the letter of Catholic Canon. No questions.

I liked the throwback, first of all. I felt like a Catholic in a 50′s movie, with my “modest” plaid kilt and white blouse, with a priest that still gave Absolution in Latin, and where most still didn’t eat meat on Fridays. It felt safe. I didn’t have to question anything, the answers were all cut and dried.

But there was one problem; my brain doesn’t work that way. I had already had years of open-minded and “question everything” values placed into me from childhood; my mother had been a lapsed Catholic who embraced Yogic theory. She told me stories about the Ashrams, where there were images of various “Gods” or teachers, such as Jesus, Krishna, and the Buddha. One could choose to honor God in their own way by relating to the images they felt most comfortable with; all were seen as equals. One teaching of my Mother’s which sticks with me to this day is that “God isn’t some old man with a long white beard sitting on a throne;He is everywhere.”

The Catholic church I attended as a teenager, I was free to debate with the priest. In fact, he enjoyed it. We were told to “question everything, and when we get to the root, that is where our adult faith will be.”

I was led to Wicca at age nineteen through searching for the female face of God. I felt a strong call to Wicca and Paganism, it felt as if these were ways I’d followed before, and were meant to follow now. It was liberating from the dogmatic, fundamentalist ways I had come from in the Catholic Church, where even in my liberal parish, orders came from Rome and certain teachings were not to be questioned, if one wished to remain a Catholic.

So, imagine my surprise when, within this non-dogmatic and multi-faceted religion, I encountered fundamentalism and narrow-mindedness. Just like not every Christian lives by the teachings of Christ, I didn’t expect Wiccans to be perfect. But I also didn’t expect being told that certain ways of practicing Wicca were somehow “wrong” or “lesser than”. That is one didn’t practice according to Gardnerian or Alexandrian tradition, one was practicing “Neo-Wicca”, a phrase often used with disdain by very fundamentalist Wiccans, usually (to my experience), followed by the derogatory insult of “fluffy bunny”, or “newbie”.

I’ve been reflecting this recently after begrudgingly participating in a flame war on an online forum on Wicca. A querent had asked about whether or not online Wiccan classes are worthwhile. I informed that I certainly thought so and told them a little about my chosen tradition, the Sacred Mists, and provided this link for them to learn more. I then sat back and waited for the inevitable fall out.

Yep, it happened. GASP! Said the fundie-Witch. If one is to practice Wicca “properly”, online schools are of no use at all! The comments seemed to deteriorate from there, and I won’t add fuel to the proverbial bale-fire that followed.

I hadn’t said that my way was the only way, or that my chosen tradition was the answer for everyone. I simply told my experience, and stated that it was the right way FOR ME, and that if this person wished quality on-line training, that I recommended the Sacred Mists. I added that yes, I had had several years experience on and offline (not that it should matter one way or the other; the opinion of a new Wiccan and/or a seasoned one should count equally, I think.), and that this was honestly the best tradition and program that I had found out there.

I’m not at all perfect, and am the very first to admit that. But I REALLY don’t understand why people get so caught up on what is “acceptable” Wiccan practice and what isn’t. Squibbling about whether Mary Sue should use an athame or a wand to cast circle, or saying that Rob isn’t “really”Wiccan because he happens to like and read Silver Ravenwolf’s books (Really.That’s happened to me a few times. I, for one,really like Silver’s work and have gotten roasted for it several times.), and arguing that Sharon must be a “fluffy bunny” because she accidently walked deosil instead of widdershins or faced East when it should have been West (It happens…), to me is a waste of time, and the reverse of everything Wicca stands for. Wicca is supposed to be personal and empowering, and a religion where one is allowed to make choices about where and how they worship.

Now, I know what some might say to this. That there ARE central teachings to Wicca, and that those that call themselves Wiccan and practice contrary philosophies do Wicca harm, as they give the wrong impression to others, and that they should be corrected. Well, yeah. If Wanda Witch says that animal sacrifice and dancing naked under the moon in the city park are requirements to being Wiccan, that’s one thing. But if Walter Witch happens to read Silver Ravenwolf,practice online, and not subscribe to every single Gardnerian teaching, that is quite another.

Think of it this way; if we think all Wiccan teaching is garbage unless it came out of Gerald Gardner’s mouth, or that things have to be done just as our forefathers and mothers practiced them in order to be “authentic”..then we are truly limiting ourselves and pretty much guaranteeing that Wicca could go the way of the dodo for our future generations. The Catholic Church has members heading for the hills and great internal division due to its’ archaic teachings on abortion, birth control, and female clergy,among other things. If the masses refuse to accept someone as a Wiccan, or attack their practices because they are different, then we are basically pushing a stick into the spinning wheel of progress.

Wicca is progressive. It’s dynamic. It’s fluid. We DO owe thanks to our forebearers that blazed the trail for Wiccans today. But I honestly think that if Gardner was still around, he’d change a few things to suit the times. Wicca is open to interpretation and can be bent and shaped to how it relates to us personally.

Maybe the Gods are laughing at us for such trivialities. Maybe they point and say, “Look at those silly humans, arguing over what color the altar cloth should be. They’re missing the whole point. A glorious sunset, a mighty rainstorm, and a powerful wind just passed them by and they didn’t even notice..sigh.”

I think that we need to expand the circle a little wider. To realize that Wicca is kind of like ice cream; there are a zillion different flavours, brands, and colors, but in the end…we are all the same.

The city I live in is not known for its great weather…well, unless you find freezing cold weather “great” (and trust me, I mean FREEZING). So, when summer comes, it always makes me think of those old Biblical movies where the people would take to the streets, shaking tambourines and dancing joyfully. Suddenly, people are out everywhere and seem happier…well, in general. Crime also goes up. But,the general public seems happier.

It’s truly beautiful where we live right now. Everything is green; the grass, the trees, the stems of the flowers that are blooming on shrubs and trees everywhere: lilacs, blossoms, tulips. All of nature in its’ finery. This is where I feel closest to my Goddess; sitting outside, breathing the sweet air, looking up at the green trees and the blue sky, hearing that delicious rustling noise that the wind makes when it goes through the trees, often eerily just as I am meditating, as I think the wind can be the Goddess speaking Herself. All of nature contains messages, lessons, from the Gods; we just need to stop and listen to it. I’ll admit it, I’m a city girl: I grew up a “Concrete Native” (I’m Metis, born and raised in a city, though.) and about as far from a traditional Aboriginal way of life as I could get, but the ways of my ancestors always called to me. A man that was at a sweat lodge I was at once spoke about the “blood memory people”; the Old Ones will try to call their people back to them for seven generations, and only after the seventh has passed without hearing will they be silenced.  I am a proud Metis woman, but it’s been a long climb to get here.

I find that my Aboriginal roots greatly assist me in my path of honoring the Lord and Lady; our traditional ways are similar in many respects; honoring nature, seeing Creator in all things, living in harmony with the Earth and taking our ques from Nature as to how to live the right way. I have a lot to learn about the traditional ways and how to live as a Metis; between the white world and the indian world. I’m very lucky to be married to an amazing man who also is of Ojibwe/Lakota ancestory and lives the traditional Ojibwe way. He’s taught me much. We already know that when we have kids we want them to be exposed to the Traditonal Way and the Wiccan, and when they are old enough, they can choose what path is right for them, whether it be Paganism, Traditional, Christianity, or something else entirely.

Lord and Lady have certainly blessed me in this lifetime. I realize that sometimes I get so caught up in what I don’t have, I don’t see what I do. I realized some of these simple blessings when I was sitting on the front step enjoying the weather today; God and Goddess can and will provide, and worry and pessimism don’t help. My good Priestess friend Isobeail told me once how we should remain solely in the moment: not tomorrow or yesterday…now. That is going to take a long time to master, if I ever do, but it is a good goal to strive for.

As I mentioned here earlier, I’m positively ecstatic to be a part of the Third Degree. I know that many life lessons are to come, but I honestly feel that this is my life’s calling.  I’ve started on some work for my course and are very much looking forward to more. I’m so lucky to have such a supportive, loving commnity as I do in the Sacred Mists; and such a mentor and High Priestess that Lady Raven Moonshadow is. She really is amazing. I sometimes say “I want to be like Lady Raven when I grow up!” ; meaning that I want to become an Arch High Priestess one day like she is, but also to develop my own style of High Priestessing. I’ve always felt more comforatable with being a leader than a follower, and leadership positions just seem to be given to me to do. In a group, people tend to look to me to be a leader. Maybe  it’s my personality, maybe it’s my astro sign (Leo), a bit of everything, I just know that’s how I’ve always been and I hope to develop into a stronger Priestess and Mentor for others.

Blessed Be to all of you!