When people learn that I am a part of the fetish scene it either shocks them or they act as if they expected it. Based on appearance I assume is why they would expect it-gee, a good little goth chick-hot pink hair, all black clothing-of course she’s into that freaky fetish scene. Yet when I’m dressed in my professional clothing at an academic conference or a business dinner and somehow it comes out that I live within that circle they often act as if I’ve committed the ultimate sin of drowning a puppy. “You go to those things?” Of course once the shock passes comes the next expected reaction-curiosity-“So, what are they really like? Is there lots of sex going on at those parties all over the place?” *eyeroll* Why must everyone think that fetish equals mass orgies and debauchery? I must have missed the memo telling me that all fetish participants and parties entail orgies and group sex, my mistake. Sorry, all. An interesting dichotomy does seem to form though, I do find that it is not only the men who instantly jump to the assumption that it’s all about group sex, women do it just as much. Men though, tend to have a different attitude about it. “I’ll bet there’s lots of sex going on at those parties, huh?”-All macho and manly and like ‘yeah that’d be me alright, swinging my dick around all proud and strong, hitting all the hotties, having all the chicks on me cause I’m the hottest thing since sliced bread’ attitude. While the women tend to have this attitude of “people who go there don’t have to have sex with lots of people do they?-all shy and almost disgusted sounding but still with an almost ‘curious cat, well maybe I’d want to go if I got a chance to do things I wouldn’t normally do because I’m too unsure of it in my everyday life, and well it’s just a fantasy place so I wouldn’t *really* be doing anything real anyways’ attitude.