Recently I learned that a friend got married almost a year ago.  While I’m thrilled for him having found the women that he wants to be with, I can’t help but feel hurt somewhere.  There is of course a history, isn’t there always?  This man was in our wedding-one of my husband’s best men (yes he had two, it was just impossible to pick one best friend over another when they both were just as equally important to him).  I’m not hurt because “he was in our wedding by rights we should have something to do with theirs”-that’s silly.  He began dating one of my best friends and due to my husband’s work schedule (he worked graveyard) it became very difficult for him to upkeep friendships like he had in the past, and honestly, when he was off work and he did call, it seemed everyone was always busy. Friendships began to drift apart, partly due to his work and partly due to the fact that, more and more, this friend did nothing except stay in and get high.  We sat and watched a dear friend go from somebody we could have a great time with to somebody that could make a coherent sentence.  Eventually this behaviour caused my friend to leave him for a happy situation.  He moved on and met the girl he would come to marry.  I happen to know the girl from years of mutual friends and club nights.  Very sweet girl, and I hoped that she would able to draw him back to the land of the living.  They were married earlier this year-my husband and I weren’t even invited to the wedding.  We’ve even run into them out and about, they live near us and in chatting for an hour in the store, they never mentioned they got married.  It hurts and I’m entirely sure why.  I guess when it boils down to it, friends, especially ones that are that important to a person that two best men share are friends forever, even though they have drifted.  When we got married there were a number of people that attended whom I had not spoken to or seen in over six years, but they had always been very close to me and that type of friendship stays through the years.  It doesn’t matter if your paths have very different directions-you both have the memories of the times that you had in each other’s lives.  Those memories are stronger and more important than anything else-they were the events that made you, and them, who you both are today, the good and the bad.  I know my husband is upset about this but he is trying to put on the “it’s my fault for letting our friendship drift” face-well dear, the phone works both ways. I’m responsible for the same thing in some situations-it was just time for the paths to split at that tree when it appeared.  While it hurts, the happiness that they have they both finally deserve, her I think more than him, but that’s just because I know both of their histories.  May the goddess bless them both with love and serenity……and no stupid neighbors.

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