Waning Crescent Moon
Waning Crescent Moon

The moon is currently in Aries
The moon is 27 days old

spirit

Concept of balance and harmony. White rocks zen on the sea with a chakra balance watermark demonstrating energetic balance.

Concept of balance and harmony. White rocks zen on the sea with a chakra balance watermark demonstrating energetic balance.

When you think of balance, what do you think of?  Does your mind take you to balanced perched rocks?  Perhaps then a spiritual aura balance of chakra energy?  Enough time in the day to do all the things you are expected to do?  For most of us, we will identify with one of these concepts of balance.  There are of course many others but for this, let’s focus on the most common that we feel.  Personally, I experience all of these and many others!  When you ask many people, what it is they seek in their life improvement, they will tell you that they would like a better balance on x, y, z.  Let’s examine what balance is defined as.  In the most basic definition, for this post, balance can be defined as a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or importance in one’s life.  Our equilibrium is at optimum and we are in a perfect state of homeostasis.  This is the dream many of us have had over our years on this beautiful spinning home, we call Earth.  As I continue to walk my path and evolve as a person, I begin to truly see things differently.  I see things not only more precisely as well as more softly.  What is this nonsense I have written?

OK, let me break it down a little bit from my perspective.  The goals in my life have always revolved some sort of balance in my life.  I want a better work, life balance.  I want a better work, life, spirit balance.  I want a better balance of ALL THE THINGS!  Now, I just look at all of that and roll my eyes.  Balance, by it’s very nature is precarious.  If you pull just the right rock from that pile in the picture above, the entire structure will collapse and the balance, undone.  If you have a precise amount of time planned in your day for travel time to and from work.  Let’s say, you do not allow any “wiggle room”.  You must leave and arrive at the appointed time only.  You are driving to work and someone gets in an accident and now you are sitting in traffic and going to be late.  You cannot apply one analogy to the other, they are completely different concepts of balance but can tie together if it is time that you seek to bring your balance of life, work, spirit.

Do you see where this is going?  If one little thing shifts, the structure *can* fall.  Your homeostasis is false in that you think you are balanced but what you are doing is avoiding new experiences and possibilities in rigidity and therefore your homeostasis will disappear and you will again struggle to regain that position.  A grain of sand can shift the wind, the wind cannot shift the cliffside so easily.  I do not know but in my head, this makes sense.  I am leaving out things from my life, I am not experiencing things in order to work ever harder on this balance that is always out of reach.  It is the goal of many of us, to rise to challenges and to do better than we did the day before.  In this we are always seeking that balance because it’s never quite right and we can do better.

Is this process a futile practice?  Definitely, not.  I know I just said that it’s not attainable and as a result, would it not be understood that to waste energy in such endeavors would be ridiculous.  Except, that’s not what I really said.  That last part, we all read that.  I read it and sometimes I type it and believe it.  In working to achieve these balances, to better ourselves, we are in essence finding a balance of possibilities and experiencing new things.  I still do not believe balance is possible, if we were perfectly balanced we would cease to truly learn and grow as we would not seek out new experiences.  Why seek out these things when we have attained balance?  Interesting and random thoughts rolling around in my head at 11pm at night when I should be in bed, with getting up for work early tomorrow.

On a cool afternoon recently, I laid in the grass and grounded then centered and balanced my chakras.  It was glorious.

On a cool afternoon recently, I laid in the grass and grounded then centered and balanced my chakras. It was glorious.

We are coming upon the time of the second harvest, Mabon.  Before going into my plans and talking a little more about Mabon, yes I know it’s not actually an old name, that it was made up to sound old and blah blah blah.  I will continue to use it, because it resonates and speaks to my original roots in Wicca and new age spirituality almost 20 years ago.

As I was saying, it’s time for the second harvest.  This is the Autumnal Equinox, opposite the Vernal Equinox for spring.  The two days where the day is evenly split between light and dark.  For me, I take this time welcome the harvest that I am reaping in this year’s magickal workings.  There, of course, has been a lot going on in my year.  I have seen huge changes and shifts in my own life that speak to a more peaceful and abundant future.  I am working at healing myself on every level so that I can ultimately find true happiness WITHIN as well as out.  It’s a lot of work.

As my shifting perspective moves from summer into fall, I come to several conclusions about the year thus far.  It has been hell on wheels.  It has been transformative.  It has been amazing.  It has been sad.  It has been angry.  My goals are simple, I want to be healthier, I wanted my friends to stick by me as I went through some personally trying and dark stuff.  I needed people to understand that I am not going to always be right there and ready or willing to do things or even talk all the time.  I have to be able to do this self-healing work.  I’m sorry that my healing affected my friends.  That was never my intention.  I am a different person than I was even two months ago.

Every morning, I wake up and breathe deeply, thankful that I have made it to another day.  Each morning, I give my family all the love I have and then I give the same amount to friends that cross my path in that day.  It will not always be the same people but everyday I am sending a little more love into the world.  You see, the more I love myself, the more I have to share with the world.  My mind is expanding, it’s perceiving things differently and I am more balanced than I have been in years.  Not there yet, but it’s happening.

This Mabon, I am going to make my red wine Mabon Pot Roast, I am going to share that with friends and family.  What is left, I might just package up to give to some homeless folks.  I am thankful to still be here.  I am thankful to have friends who truly care about me.  I am thankful to the family that loves me.  I am thankful to my Coven.  I am thankful to my Circle.  I am thankful to my Tribe.

What are you thankful for this Mabon?

Hi there folks!  I realize that I’ve probably lost anyone who still followed my blog in my once again absence.  To say that life caught up with me?  Well that would be a gross understatement.  We have arrived on the final day of August in 2016, it’s 10pm Pacific and I am sitting here with an amazing amount of thoughts rolling through my head.

In the last little while, I’ve been through so much and have really spiritually grown in new and fantastic ways.  My path has deepened.  My crystal healing work is continuing to grow in terms of knowledge and overall collection.  I am content again.  I am going to start working out again via BeachBody On Demand.  I am stepping outside my comfort zone and really working on myself and the world around me.

I realized, not that long ago, that while I may not believe it, I do have value.  I do deserve happiness.  I deserve feeling and being beautiful.  What does this all mean?  Well I am doing new things.  I am starting small with things like my hair, my wardrobe and working out at least 5 days a week to start.  I am writing a lot, I am learning a lot.  Above all, I’ve learned to love myself for who I am not for any of the qualifiers that people put on me.  What do they know that I do not, about myself?  Pretty much nothing.

Who am I?  I am a witch.  I am fat. I am beautiful. I am worthy.  I am loved.  I love.  I have some really fantastic friends, who when I was at my absolute lowest, they stood by me.  These are the people that lift me up instead of tear me down.  The friends who helped me when I fell, the ones who stood for me when I could not.  Beautiful spirits, each one of them that stood by me when I could not stand by them because I was broken and struggling to regain myself.  I lost a few friends along the way.  People that I thought would stick by me, when I reached this low point.  Guess I was fooled.  That hurt a bit.  I am not going to let it keep me down. Ultimately, I cannot be responsible for  anyone other than myself and how I react to things.  I won’t defend myself, I don’t need to. I will not justify myself or my absence, I don’t need to.  I will stand and know that I have come through the gates of Tartarus and emerged stronger, smarter and a different person.

To everyone that I have EVER known, whether present in my life or not, I thank you so much for your contribution to my growth.  It was through your season(s) of friendship that I have emerged on the other side of this a different person.  To the folks who are still with me, I cannot say, words are so inadequate, how much you have meant to me as I navigated these dark corridors of my shadow workings.  I love each of you…my friends past and present.

In this moment, I thank everyone who has ever been in my life.  I offer you my love and genuine thanks in this blessed moment as I transition to what comes next.

In this moment, I thank everyone who has ever been in my life. I offer you my love and genuine thanks in this blessed moment as I transition to what comes next.

I started writing this a few days ago and did not get around to finishing it…late nights working and a ton of things to do in general, aside from all that I wanted to learn a little more about the stone I am focusing on this week and that included a couple nights of meditation and sleep with it as well as lots of reading. The more I worked with the freeform Shungite piece I have the more it showed me that I needed to use it in a grid not just as a single stone of focused energy work.

To start I will share about each of the stones on the grid I am using for it right now. The Shungite is the focal piece with four jet and four lapis lazuli atop a grey agate slice. Let me tell you a little about the stones that I am using here…

Shungite Freeform, received this beauty for Yule 2015

Shungite Freeform, received this beauty for Yule 2015

Shungite:

What can I say about this stone? Not enough as I am still learning to work with it. For Yule this year I was gifted this lovely piece of Shungite, it’s quite an amazing energy and a large stone. The first time I touched this stone I received this amazing zing that went straight up my arm, through every cell in my body and out through the skin at the top of my head, after it filled me with this amazing light energy clearing out ALL the gunky energy that has been holding onto my light bodies. Shungite, is considered by some to be a shaman’s stone for it’s amazing energetic balancing and attraction to drawing in the light and freeing one from negative patterns at every level, down to the very molecules of who we are. This seemingly molecular alignment helps us to clear the patterns that manifest in ourselves in ways such as emotional difficulties, disease and negativity. If you are ungrounded, shungite will aid you to better connect with the earth. Looking further into the work of shungite, you can see it’s deep connection to universal energy and provides us with an aura of psychic protection. It is a stone of truth, many find themselves uncomfortable when holding, wearing or actively using shungite to lie or create falseness. Through active workings with shungite you are able to begin to let go of deeply seated feelings of shame, guilt, fear or anything which holds you back through harmful/negative influences within yourself.

Tumbled Lapis Lazuli - small piece.

Tumbled Lapis Lazuli – small piece.

Lapis Lazuli:

Lapis is most often called “The stone of Queens”, it is known for being used in ancient Egypt as a stone of royalty. It was worn by and decorated the tombs of Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt. Lapis Lazuli carries the vibrations to awaken your path to self-knowledge to discovering truth and connection to Deity.

It is known for activating the higher mind and psychic abilities, the combination of minerals can assist in acting in accordance with your highest ideals and visions. Traditionally, it has been used to assist in connecting with the Gods and invoking divine inspiration and is also used to help with seeking knowledge and understanding. Further, it is known for use in past life exploration through gaining access to the Akashic Records. It’s a true stone of self-knowledge and reflection.

Tumbled Jet - small sized

Tumbled Jet – small sized

Jet:
Jet is a stone for purification and protection, similar to selenite, jet absorbs energy and processes it into clear and helpful energy. Through this absorption process you can see how it is both purification and protecting as it will inhibit harmful energy for reaching in the same manner but transforms it into something usable.

Additionally, jet can be used to help discover the place where your potential and power lie. It can help you see beyond the “negative” and find the lesson of a situation and then integrate that lesson into manifestation of something “better”. Jet clears your energetic field of patterns and attachments of the negative experiences, through the clearing of the attachment you turn the experiences into the lessons (mentioned above) in order for you to perceive your self more completely and help you develop to your fullest potential.

Completed Grid

Grid with the focal Shungite surrounded by Lapis Lazuli, Jet atop an agate slice, surrounded by quartz, cherry quartz, aqua aura quartz and pink lemurian quartz then finally radiating lemurians in clear singing lemurian and smokey lemurian.

Let’s look at the combined energy of this grid and the supporting stones I’ve added, clear quartz, smokey, pink and clear lemurians, aqua aura quartz to really get in there and support the energy of the grid. This grid is all about clearing out the inner clutter and really healing the harmful patterns that I have adopted over the years. I am retaking my sacred self. I am filling my heart with things that bring me joy and ridding the clutter, abuses of the past and making the way for the re-awakening of my entire body and spirit. Oh it’s coming and I can’t wait to share it all with you along the way.

For sometime now, I have been actively working on my “issues” that have been recurring situations in my life. Things like never feeling like I am enough, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I am not this or that. As a way to combat this type of behavior in myself I am starting a jar that I will put those bottled up harmful self-speak emotions in. Once a month I am going to burn those papers until the jar has fewer and fewer instances then none at all. I am feeling that I am truly on the right path for healing.

Red Lemurian Seed Crystals, Amethyst Points, Blue Chalcedony

Red Lemurian Seed Crystals, Amethyst Points, Blue Chalcedony

One of the things that I do is work with my gemstones and grids frequently. This is an amazing bit of healing as they lend their energies to me so that I can work things out in a real manner and not just buried or bottled up. I have a lovely grid in the bedroom that has a red lemurian star with amethyst points and some blue chalcedony. The focus of this grid is peaceful rest with dream recall. Amethyst provides a healing, peaceful energies, while the blue chalcedony adds calming + balancing energies to bring me to center. The lemurian seed crystals used to create the star are there for divine connection, and have been programmed to instill restful sleep. With the energies combining on this grid you get an amazing bit of energy for true soul healing while connected to the divine all while sleeping.

In my workspace, I reset my grid every two weeks (at the new moon and full moon). As a result I have reset this grid today. I’ve used smokey lemurian seed crystals, red lemurian seed crystals, zoisite with ruby, bronzite, iolite-sunstone, angelite, carnelian heart, blue onyx. The grid is then surrounded with more lemurian seed crystals in red and smokey, a candle quartz and a red hematoid quartz. Zoisite with Ruby can help you with growth, healing, alleviates grief, anger and hopelessness. It’s a powerful healer to the emotional body. Bronzite can dispel negative energies, help harness self-esteem and raise it, inspires courtesy while alleviating indecision and doubt. Iolite-Sunstone helps enhancing intuitive abilities giving a sense of determination for manifestation and creation. It’s wonderful for confidence and self-assurance. Angelite helps us communicate in a clear and concise way. It’s very soothing to allow peace and

Smokey and Red Lemurian Seed Crystals, Zoisite with Ruby, Bronzite, Iolite-Sunstone, Angelite, Blue Onyx, Carnelian Heart Activation stone.

Smokey and Red Lemurian Seed Crystals, Zoisite with Ruby, Bronzite, Iolite-Sunstone, Angelite, Blue Onyx, Carnelian Heart Activation stone.

benevolence of spirit + heart. Onyx promotes vigor and stamina, as well as self-confidence, self-control and stimulates the power to make wise decisions. Blue onyx helps with our spiritual strength to get through the rigors of difficult situations. My activation stone here is a carnelian heart, once in place the whole grid becomes entwined energetically. Alone, the carnelian is in place for manifestation of highest goals and dreams. It helps overcome the fear of success and embracing of change. The energies here mix for strength, confidence, peace and healing with grounding and negativity cleansing. This grid provides me the energy to continue to work with myself and with great peace at work. I am enabled to be positive and joyful in my actions, I am confident in my abilities, I remain balanced and grounded.

In each of my grids, I feel the energy filling me up and truly helping me focus on the healing process from years of self-talk that was not healthy and to find the true me below all the masks I wear.

Today at long last, I am starting to really feel human again. The herbal supplements my sister-in-law sent me are really adding some nice bits of symptom relief and healing.  YAY!  With that in mind I am back on board with life, writing and so much more.

chime-blessing-new-yearFor the last week, going on two I have been fighting (and losing) the battle with a nasty virus.  I have been feeling like hammered crap on a tin roof in the middle of a hot and humid summer.  That’s to say really poorly.  With the addition of the naturopathic supplements to the rest, fluids and time needed to get through this I am feeling significantly better at last.  The last week and a half have been absolutely miserable as I waded through dizziness, coughing, sneezing, headaches, congestion, and much more, often not realizing what time or even day it was.  Now from the other side of the worst of it, I can see that I truly need to do some serious work on improving my immune system.

As I walked the land of dreams and in between when I was not fully physically present in my body due to the virus, I discovered a great many things about myself with the help of my therapist. 😉  True healing is happening finally and I can say without doubt that the layers of pain are beginning to close up and make that wound a scar that will not open any further.  It’s knitting back together as spirit and body work together for the first time in years.  Yes, things are changing.  I am releasing to the wind fear, anxiety and judgement.  Blowing into my life I call courage, confidence and light.  My health and spirit are in transition to growth and concretion of that sacred space within.

Altar from September.   Some of the stones have changed but the feeling is the same.

Altar from September. Some of the stones have changed but the feeling is the same.

A lot of things have been floating in and out of my head lately.  Some of them about life and weight and health while others are about how I can, energetically and spiritually get through this dark night and continue my personal evolution.  Each thought that comes to me I try to acknowledge it so that I can hopefully remember it.  Right now the magick of the moment is daily practice of my path and finding health together.

What is daily practice?  As with all things, it’s a matter of perspective.  Each of us will find something different that is vital to our spiritual growth and well being.  For me my daily practice is simple, elegant in a manner and meaningful to me.

I have a friend who has not had “sacred space” readily available for about three years.  That’s not to say she’s stopped practicing just she’s been doing it on the fly and nothing of permanence has been set up for her in her own home.  I took some time today to help her do some cleaning and I set up some sacred pieces for her then smudged.  The house definitely felt different after the fact and I can tell that things will start to improve for her.  I see things getting better.  She just needed someone to come in and help her get it started after a move.

Anyway, I digressed greatly.  Magick and Practice does not have to be these big grand gestures.  They do not have to follow a formula or a specific set of correspondences.  Do you FEEL something different?  Then go with it.  Spirit calls to us in different ways.  Why do we have to follow the “old rules” when life changes and evolves?

Do the Gods appear differently to you?  That’s ok.  Is your altar set up in the North?  That’s ok.  Do you prefer a crystal for a wand and an antler for an athame?  That’s ok too.  Spirit is fluid.  Some of my own personal practices go against the grain.  I do sacred showers instead of baths for ritual cleansing.  I use stones at the directions to correspond.  I do candle magick daily and with simple candles and intentions.

Gemstones are a huge part of my practice and I ALWAYS have them nearby so that I can draw on their wisdom and energies to keep my stresses lower and my light brighter.  Right now on my altar is Black Moonstone. Aqua Obsidian, Skeletal Quartz, Chlorite Phantom Quartz, Clear Quartz, Red Hematoid Quartz, Pink Lemurian Quartz. Tibetan Lemurian Quartz, Selenite, Kambaba Quartz and finally Opal Aura Amethyst.  Each of these lend me their energies throughout the day for various purposes and healing.  If I am feeling stressed…I just take a moment and grab the piece that calls to me and breathe with my eyes closed.  It’s amazing.

If you are a fire person keep a jar candle in your sacred space and light that up every day.  Jar candles such as Yankee, Ashland, and Village have amazing scents and the jars can be reused once they are finished with.  Candles don’t have to be magically poured to work for intention.  YOU set the intention and the purpose for it.

Now go out there and do your own wonderful, amazing and beautiful magick!

My huge Black Moonstone Sphere.

My huge Black Moonstone Sphere.

One of my favorite stones to work with right now is Black Moonstone.  Black Moonstone is the stone of the dark moon.  It is considered to be a powerful stone for shamanic work, shadow work, dark nights of the soul, new + dark moon magick.  There is a lot of “oomph” in this stone and one that I am finding brings a lot to the table for Priestesses.

Within this sphere, I find the ability to work through the deeper inner mysteries that are the heart of spiritual evolution.   In order to truly know yourself and evolve as a person and spiritually you must be willing to face your shadow and see what lies beneath the surface.  Diving into the dark can be quite scary.  The energies of black moonstone help you delve deeper with supporting gentle light.

Additionally this stone is ideal for perceiving what lies beyond the veil and during the dark times of the year as Samhain approaches this is a valued tool to the witch. In my own workings I am finding that I am able to feel the energies of others more acutely and intensely.  I am able to work within my own darkness to bring balance and peace to my life.

It’s a stone I cannot recommend enough if you are willing to do the hard work of truly piercing your darkness and shadow, embracing it and bringing balance to your life.

at Hann's Park under a Willow tree near the stream

at Hann’s Park under a Willow tree near the stream

So this weekend was a pretty busy one…then again they all seem to be busy. I have started to really work with gemstones and some very personal workings that I started earlier this year. I am feeling a real difference.

This weekend I made a few decisions that I can share with you:

  • I will blog three times a week
    • Monday’s will be weekend musings
    • Wednesday will be Gemstones + Magick
    • Friday will be freeform whatever comes to mind.
  • Starting with the new moon tonight I am digging in deeper to some much needed shadow workings.
  • I wrote the ritual for tonight and it’s great. LOL
  • Daily House of Night Oracle draws are back on.

Aside from all of these decisions I am starting to feel the fog of an ongoing Dark Night of the Soul begin to lift up.  There is still work to be done but the fog is not as thick as it once was and for that I am grateful.  I am feeling some real joy in life and the world around me as the depression that has hung on in this dark night starts to alleviate some of its stranglehold.

I started preparing for guests arriving at the end of this month.  There is not a TON to do but there is enough that I want to do it in small chunks.  I got a lot of old dog toys tossed out, started going through some of the excess that is in the front room and will be doing some serious cleaning in the room that used to be the office.

All in all there is a lot of progress going on in both life and spirituality that seems to get kicked up on the weekends.  I’m digging it.

DSCN0072When your computer, phone, tablet and the like have problems, the first thing most people do is rebooting them to clear any lingering processes that aren’t quite closing right. Sometimes, you really just want to do that with life as well.

There comes a time that when stresses pile up, that you become totally overwhelmed and just don’t know where to start. When you are in that place, a lot of the time you just never start. Things pile up higher and higher and soon you feel buried, overwhelmed and just want to curl up for a long nap and a good cry.

When you get to this place, you cannot even truly tell you are in it but you know you are true and well, overwhelmed and feel buried beneath all the things you are responsible for. Things begin slipping through the cracks, work becomes less important, focus begins to wane and motivation, well that is gone too. I’ve been in this place lately and let me tell you, my friend that it’s not easy to overcome.

Walking through the wilderness of life you are confronted with many lessons and challenges that ultimately will enable and help you to grow to whatever may be next for you as a human or a spirit. We never know what these things will teach us, how we will react to them or what will happen on the other side. The darkness that we encounter through each is real and it can be all encompassing for a time. How do you confront that which you cannot see? How do you work through the dark night? How do you, differentiate challenge and lesson to just rotten luck? I don’t have any of the answers to these questions but I can tell you that I’ve asked myself these questions so many times to date that the answers of them, well they no longer matter to me.

The realizations that I have had have helped me get from one “nasty” spot to a place that is more beautiful by immeasurable numbers. Before I get into the grit of my experiences, I should warn you that these are simply my thoughts based on the situations that I have experienced in some form during my short life of 42 years. There comes a time in life when you just kick off your shoes and decide that you will not continue down a destructive path.

My shoes are now kicked off; I’ve had enough of the drama. There is only one-way for me and that is forward. I’m sure along the way forward I will fall flat on my face and that some things, simply will not work out the way I intend or hope. I refuse to let this slow me down or get me down.

It begins now with a health reboot. I put on my big girl panties and decided I would stop self-sabotaging my health. I am back on my bandwagon and will continue to move forward. I am continuing some very deep work to complete the righting of my “self” and spirit. Through meditation and journaling I will be working towards a healthy spirit, through diet and exercise I will be working towards a healthy body. My practices will be evolving into a new lifestyle that will serve me better.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I begin this day with affirmations. I am healthy; I am filled with spirit and light. I feel love and receive love. I am a beautiful person.