Odd

I had planned on posting today about my current study habits and the awesome that is Rites of Passage.

 Instead I think I will take a moment to talk to myself a little if you will, about self-confidence and the ego.

 

In the 2nd Degree I learned that developing confidence in my magickal workings was of supreme importance, essentially if I don’t believe that you can manifest change in your life and the environment than surely you cannot.

 

Further along those lines the physical world interacts in some similar ways with all of us.  For most things and materials found here, it works in an individual manner.  Even if you have your magickal processes all worked out by now – you learned your skills from your mother, a friend or a coven and you can get things to work for you just fine.  You have confidence in you and what you are magickally.  Should you try woods instead of feathers in a ritual just to see what you get and how that differs from what you used before?  Yes, you should.  The woods you try just might work better or better with a twist that what you did before.  How will you know?  Because you gave it a try and found out.

 

In order to be successful and to have confidence you have to be willing to make mistakes, willing to try things you have never tried before.

 

As a 30-something year old Wiccan Woman, I find that I am constantly challenged and my idea of myself changes pretty constantly.

 

One thing that irritates me is that people (myself included on the occasion) need outside validation of themselves.  In need of someone else to tell them their worth.  Now I am not talking about unsolicited comments which are quite lovely but those which we more or less in some ways ‘corner’ someone into providing us with praise.  The way we will talk down about ourselves which is a lead in that we need to have our ego petted and brushed.

 

For some reason this bothers me.  Why is it necessary, and yes I am guilty of this and am working very hard to overcome this, for someone else to validate our worth?  This should come from within.  Our confidence in not only life but in spirit should be the beacons which draw like minded and equally beautiful people into our lives.

 

Today I sit with my back straight, my head held as high as my desk ergonomics allow me and I remember that I am the master of my own worth.

Posted on 15 August '08 by , under Training.