Memories…Past, Present, & Future

Dewy Morning Hike & the Leaf

To say that life is busy would be a huge understatement.  To say that I live a very full life, also an understatement.  I am truly thankful for the opportunities that I am afforded in this lifetime.

Now that the “disclaimer” has been stated, I’d like to get off the roller coaster for just a little while.  This year has been an INTENSE year.  There is no other word that encompasses what has happened other than intense.  Some of the highlights include wanting to move, coming to terms that I would be stuck in FL forever most likely, finding out my Dad has lung cancer, finding out my grandpa has Alzheimers and was sliding down that slope, coming to terms with smokers in my life that continue despite the health risks, realizing I cannot own another persons decision to continue doing things harmful for them, finding out we are moving after all (OMG), moving all the way across the country with my best friend (and love of my life) and a very dear friend (<3 you Jenn) and all our animals.  Now that the dust is settling and the move is done.  Routines are being drawn.

I’ve been sick twice since the move in August.  I am “wrapping up” the current cold in the next couple of days.  The lingering cough and congestion are annoying but I can taste food again and smell at last.   This year is the Year of the Dragon.  Dragon energy is about transformation and wisdom.  I’ve definitely seen the transformation happening all around me.  It’s hard to even know where to begin with the amount of transformation that I have personally witnessed.  From job changes, to family members passing, to a cross country move, to new traditions for my little family.  Everything changed this year.

Right now I am very introspective.  I recently lost my Aunt Lois unexpectedly and suddenly.  I was unable to fly out for her service.  I loved her very much (and still do!).  She has passed to the realm of angels and will look over her family until she is ready to be reborn.  Right now I am struggling very much between being sick and shedding this cold and the sadness that threatens to take over my heart.  My grandpa (Poppy) has alzheimer’s disease.  While the disease is devastating in of itself he’s also 86 and very tired.  So here I sit in California missing my grandpa, who in my head is a feisty and funny guy.  In my head I watch him and my Mammy kid around and joke it up and pick on us grandkids.  These are the memories that I will carry with me of him through all my days.  Right now he’s just tired.  I think he’s ready to move on.  I am sad that I may never see his smile and hear his laugh again but that is my loss, my feelings.  On the other hand I am very glad he is moving to the next stage of his life and growth as a spiritual being.  I hope this transition is easy for him.

So yes a huge year that has been non-stop busy and evolutionary for me as a spiritual being.  Twice a week quotes go in the Sacred Mists Shoppe Newsletter.  Today’s quote is something that I thought about and dug out of my heart and something I am working very hard at doing daily.   I wrote this for today:

The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid. ~Author Unknown

I’ve been working on what I call mindful speaking. To me this means that no word comes out of my mouth that has not been considered for choice. I endeavor to not blurt out everything that comes from my thoughts as some of the words are crass or foul and I could be better served by using the vocabulary I have at my disposal. My exercise for today is to not speak a “cuss” word and to speak from the heart and spirit in kindness and with love. Each person I speak to today will receive a compliment, a blessing or merely a smile in passing. Practicing kindness brings more kind and gentle emotions to the world as a whole around us. Will you lift spirits with me today?!

I wrote that for the Sacred Mists Shoppe Newsletter on Dec 7.  I had a wonderful day, got called into the shop due to illness and worked pretty hard all day.  It was good but lively and filled with wonderful people coming in and out of the store.

It’s been almost a week and things have not really slowed down for me.  Holiday times are always the busiest and when you throw in Christmas along-side Yule well, you get the idea. 😉

*subject change*

Yesterday was my normal day in the store and it was steady with people coming in to talk all day, which I absolutely adore.  Only one thing marred the otherwise wonderful day.  I got *the call* from my Mom.  My Poppy passed yesterday.  It was a hard afternoon for me to keep it together so I stuffed it all into a box to the point of numbness and carried on.

Now that I’ve had some quiet time to myself, I’ve been able to deal with the grief of losing his presence on this plane and move past it.  I said a little prayer for him on the way home.  “A brave warrior has fallen, not on the battlefield in war but at the ripe old age of 86.  He’s battled Alzheimer’s valiantly and need not battle the pain any longer.  May his soul be forever young in Valhalla.  I will see you again Poppy.  I love you.”  It was hard for me to get to this point and I could not say it without tears and even typing it I get a little misty.

He is in a better place, I will see him again and we will have other lives as family.  I lift my chalice to you in memory of all you have done for the family over the years.  Your laugh echoes my mind and heart always.

I’ll keep on working and getting things caught up.  I will share where I can and what I can.  May your day be blessed.

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Posted on 13 December '12 by , under Death, Growth, Life.

4 Comments to “Memories…Past, Present, & Future”

#1 Posted by Isleen (13.12.12 at 12:25 )

My thoughts are with you my friend…this truly has been quite an extraordinary year in all matters good or ill. I am quite hopeful for the future though…there’s a few more big bumps and potholes in the road…but, I feel that we shall discover our rewards for surviving our struggles soon enough. *hugs & love*

#2 Posted by Lilyth (13.12.12 at 13:34 )

Thank you my dear. It’s been an amazing year in so many ways. The good with the bad stirring it up to transform the life we are living into something different, more perhaps. The rewards for walking this path are felt in my heart everyday despite the pains that come along and smack me around a bit. LOL <3 Hugs and Love to you my friend.

#3 Posted by Jenn (13.12.12 at 22:10 )

I’m so sorry my love. It’s a pain that never goes away but there is comfort in the rest they have. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

#4 Posted by Lilyth (14.12.12 at 00:05 )

Thank you Jenn. There isn’t anything anyone can do really. I cherish the memories I have and will do a ritual honoring his life and all the things he gave to this world. <3 you.