Archive for 'Gods'

Time in the Woods…

The setting sun at the campground in Big Sur.

The setting sun at the campground in Big Sur.

This weekend I “got away” from it all by visiting Big Sur with my good friend Leona.  As I mentioned before, I’ve not had any time to spend with her for going on 5 or 6 years now.  The reason for the long absence from spending time together had a lot to do with location.  She moved to California long before I did and work has been crazy since my move so we both kind of put our foots down and made time to get away.

It was a girls “camping” weekend.  We rented a lovely cabin at Big Sur Campground, which I highly recommend them.  The people are super amazingly nice and the location is stunning…even on a completely sold out weekend it was quiet and beautiful.

We checked in late on Friday, unpacked and started settling in as we set our altar.  This evening proved to be one of incredible magick and revelations for me.  This was the night that a God came calling and wanting to talk to me.  For anyone that

Our small altar in the cabin, half set by Leona and half by me.

Our small altar in the cabin, half set by Leona and half by me.

has known me for any stretch of time and knows of my spiritual path, you are aware that Gods never wish to speak to me or work with me so years and years ago I gave up trying.  For one to show up and want to work with me, well it took me off guard.  Because of my personality traits and many other reasons they stopped wanting to work with me a decade or so ago.  At first I was confused until I found someone who actually would talk to me long enough to tell me why.  I understood and stopped fighting it.  Well now they are back and wanting to work with me again.   At first I was taken aback but realized that I have become a little unbalanced and the balance in all things are coming to be due and need to be addressed.  All in all it was an amazing evening with unexpected channeling.

River in the campground we stayed at...a beautiful time to be in nature.

River in the campground we stayed at…a beautiful time to be in nature.

Saturday we got up late and we snacked on fruit leather before getting the day started with a trip to the river.  We walked up and down the river a little bit and in general communed with nature and the local fae.  After collecting some river water, we headed to the camp store to get more firewood and then hit the cabin for brunch.  I made homemade sausage gravy with biscuits.  It was extremely tasty and a recipe I will happily continue to use.  After food we got things out to make pouches.  We cut and began hand-sewing our pouches.  Mine was a smaller pouch for gemstones that go in my box of tarot cards and hers was a Crane Bag for her Druidry stuff. It was several hours of sacred crafting then time for our early Mabon rituals together.  She did a lovely ADF ritual and I followed with some spell work of thanks for Mabon and a seed that is to be planted now and harvested by Solstice.  Mine was different than originally planned thanks to the channeling of the  night before. 😉  Dinner was my great grandmother’s recipe for Chicken and Dumplings with lots more chatting and reading.  The fire was going in the wood burning stove and quite lovely for us.

webs in the trees

webs in the trees

We got up Sunday and puttered around, we were granted a late check-out so we did not have to rush, thankfully.  We slowly packed up then had some brunch of chili and biscuits that Leona made then continued cleaning up and packing.  Traffic out of Big Sur was a bit much but it only took two hours to get to San Carlos then 15 minutes over to Redwood City to meet Keith and Ariyana at Jenn’s, Jenn made us a yummy dinner and we sat around catching up and watching some of Bitchin’ Kitchen, which amused me.  Home late and up late today but I feel more connected, balance being addressed and my connection to both my spirit and to my friends restored.  Yes I feel pretty good.

Posted on 16 September '13 by , under Circle, Goddesses, Gods, Growth, ritual, Spirituality, Wicca. No Comments.

Balance in All things

I profess a deep respect for balance in everything.  I also state that I feel balance between Shadow and Light, God and Goddess are required for me to have a balanced and centered life.  Why is it that time and time again then that I struggle with connecting and actually having a Patron God?

My Coven, Sacred Mists, has a Patron God & Goddess in Cerridwen and Cerrunos; however, the Goddesses which call and are starting to demand my attention are Hecate, Hera and Persephone.  It has continually plagued me for several years now.  I search, I call and yet Gods seem to simply shrug at me as if they know I am here and just simply aren’t interested in me.

I finally broke down and talked to my High Priestess, Lady Raven Moonshadow, today about it.  Our path has a balance of Male & Female energies, at least that is what we strive to do.  It’s bothered me to the point that I have been feeling rather like an imposter giving lip service to the balance.

In talking with her a couple of very valid points were brought to the forefront of my mind.

It is perhaps not that they aren’t interested in working with me but that they do not have anything to teach me at this time.  In talking to LRM, she theorized that my youth  set this stage on many levels.  Let me try and explain this so that when I come back to this later, I will remember more clearly.

Growing up, I was a tomboy for many years.  I always had more friends that were boys than girls.  I was ‘one of the guys’ for a VERY long time.  Even into puberty this remained the same, even if some of the boys attitudes changed a little about me.  I got in fights, I hung out with the guys and had a general good time.  Girls were catty and mean.  As far as the Men in my life, I had my step-father whom I have never considered a step father but a Father.  My birth father, was nothing more than a Sperm Donor for most of my youth and even into my adulthood.   He never wanted to be a part of my life, despite me crying out for his attention on a regular basis every single summer when I visited.  He always chose my step sister over me, his first born child.  I never asked him to make this choice, for the record he did this of his own free will.   This often left me pained with the feeling of being unloved & unwanted in his family.

Throughout my adult years I have fought this tooth and nail, trying to be involved in his life only to be left out in the cold time and time again.  I finally gave up and am in a happy place without him in my life now.  I accept that his lack of involvement has nothing to do with me but everything to do with him.

Continuing on.  I am very in touch with my own masculine side.  Logic tends to rule and fight constantly with emotion.  It stinks being an emotional Aries and being able to logically see that the emotions are exactly what they are and yet being unable to stop them or reason with them.

Balance *is* good in all things.  Dark/Light, Shadow/Bright, Masculine/Feminine  Why do I continue to get stuck?  Why do I continue to PUSH it?

Working with Goddess energies and Goddesses just seems right to me.  Getting in touch with both sides of my Feminine feels right.  Perhaps this is where I need to focus now and I should stop trying to force something out of myself that simply will not be forced.  I know where my masculine lines are and know how to use them.  It seems like in this time, in this place I need to focus on my feminine lines & learn how to live and love them.

I am going to take Lady Raven Moonshadow’s advice and let up on myself.  I am going to stop forcing it.  I am going to experience all the wonders that these Goddesses who are ‘breaking my doors down’  wish to share with me.  I am going to allow those wonders to unfold and envelope my life.

Posted on 12 August '08 by , under Feminine, Goddesses, Gods, Training, Wicca. No Comments.