Archive for 'Feminine'

Thoughts on the Goddess Festival

Leona and I arrived on 9/9 in the early part of the afternoon.  We were both filled with excitement and a twinge of fear.  Neither of us had gone to such a large gathering before so this was to be an amazing experience for us both.

The cabin we chose was a little off the beaten path and near the Athena cabin.  It did not have a name so I named it Freya.  We got all settled in and she worked on my cord a little bit and slowly the cabin started to fill up.  The energy was on the rise and it was absolutely amazing.  The setting is a beautiful YMCA camp in the Santa Cruz mountains.  We were surrounded by amazing redwoods and other vibrant foliage.  It was absolutely stunning and like nothing I had ever seen (vastly different from the mountains in TN where I once lived).

This first day was fairly felt to me as a whirlwind from getting settled to the first ritual that night.  The ritual of the first night was in a word stunning.  The purpose was to bless the Water’s of the Earth.  Through this ritual we created some amazing healing for the Oceans, Streams, Rivers and Ponds of the world.  I found myself at varying times so full of joy and healing that tears simply streamed down my face gently.

It’s hard to describe what it’s like to be around so many women.  I have attended several women only circles over the years and I absolutely love them but they were always small of less than 10 people and could in no way compare to the compassion, light and amazing nature of the women drawn to this festival.

When we first broke into our generational group (by decade) it was immediately obvious that a few people truly stood out as powerful and beautiful Priestesses who feel with their heart the way that I do (they just project it better as I can tend to be a little on the shy side around people).  Immediately the stature and grace of Rabbit was amazing.  She stood taller than 7 feet with her amazing presence.  Lady Ro, enveloped you in the mysteries of the Night, Zephira glowed with such beauty and love that it simply radiated INTO each person there, I could really go on and on and on about these amazing women and the grace they all carried themselves with.  As we worked through new chants  the tears wanted to fall again.

Something was happening within me that started with my Initiation on the 8th that was changing my inner landscape to something more compassionate, something softer while still being able to guide with presence.

The ritual work continued to be absolutely amazing.  There is nothing like being in a circle of a hundred plus women who support you, care about you and want to be there with you.  The chanting, the singing, the dancing, the magick flying into the fire with our herbal spells and wishes.   You could not help but be ‘high’ on the magick that was flying around our circle.

In some ways this Festival was a bit of a detox for me.  I had been carrying around a great deal of stress that compounded over the prior two plus months and it slowly melted away and my spirit soared.  I knew that the relief would be brief, because I did have to come back to work and get caught up but it was a blessed relaxation of my soul.

Of the things I realized I missed the most in my own practice was the sound and vibrations of me chanting and singing praises.  I have been adding these into my daily practice little by little to raise my energy during my day.  I have some great ideas to bring this to the Sacred Mists Community and the execution will be in several phases.  Sound only and then Sound with Count so that those who are harder of hearing can SEE the music.

On our last night there, we had a beautiful array of performances by the generational groups.  I was exceptionally proud of the 30 somethings, we sounded amazingly harmonized for only so few practices and it was just beautiful.

At the closing of the Festival, I felt a little on the teary side to be leaving the beautiful mountains and the company of so many wonderful women.  In retrospect, I know that I am the only one who can change how I practice and those with whom I practice.
I am more deeply devoted to my Community at Sacred Mists, I am bonded to her and will continue to grow her and with her.  One thing I can do is open up a local circle for Esbats and Sabbats so that local Coven-less practitioners might join together in peace and Celebrate.

All in all this is an extremely abbreviated version of what is running through my head.  I am sure bits of it will fall into future postings as I continue to simply feel the joy from the festival in my heart and spirit.  When you look at what was done, what can be done and what will be done, you see that the power of self (whether you are male or female) can be empowered by embracing your faith, your spirit and your community.  My community is growing.  My spirit is expanding.  My light is shining.  Who will see my light and join me in South Florida is yet to be seen but they will come and in 2012, I will be back in the mountains of Santa Cruz to share my light with all these fantastic women I met less than a month ago.   I hope to continue to forge the relationships that were begun and continue to work with them.

I could not have asked for a better way to start my new path (except if Lady Raven had joined me and come 2012 I am dragging her – even if I have to kidnap her) journey as a High Priestess than by seeing the revision of spirit and remembrance of who I am.

The Goddess is alive and Magick is afoot.

Lady Lilyth is alive and Change is afoot.

You are alive and Magick is afoot!

Posted on 1 October '10 by , under Feminine, Goddesses, Growth, Life, Spirituality, Training, Wicca. No Comments.

Balance in All things

I profess a deep respect for balance in everything.  I also state that I feel balance between Shadow and Light, God and Goddess are required for me to have a balanced and centered life.  Why is it that time and time again then that I struggle with connecting and actually having a Patron God?

My Coven, Sacred Mists, has a Patron God & Goddess in Cerridwen and Cerrunos; however, the Goddesses which call and are starting to demand my attention are Hecate, Hera and Persephone.  It has continually plagued me for several years now.  I search, I call and yet Gods seem to simply shrug at me as if they know I am here and just simply aren’t interested in me.

I finally broke down and talked to my High Priestess, Lady Raven Moonshadow, today about it.  Our path has a balance of Male & Female energies, at least that is what we strive to do.  It’s bothered me to the point that I have been feeling rather like an imposter giving lip service to the balance.

In talking with her a couple of very valid points were brought to the forefront of my mind.

It is perhaps not that they aren’t interested in working with me but that they do not have anything to teach me at this time.  In talking to LRM, she theorized that my youth  set this stage on many levels.  Let me try and explain this so that when I come back to this later, I will remember more clearly.

Growing up, I was a tomboy for many years.  I always had more friends that were boys than girls.  I was ‘one of the guys’ for a VERY long time.  Even into puberty this remained the same, even if some of the boys attitudes changed a little about me.  I got in fights, I hung out with the guys and had a general good time.  Girls were catty and mean.  As far as the Men in my life, I had my step-father whom I have never considered a step father but a Father.  My birth father, was nothing more than a Sperm Donor for most of my youth and even into my adulthood.   He never wanted to be a part of my life, despite me crying out for his attention on a regular basis every single summer when I visited.  He always chose my step sister over me, his first born child.  I never asked him to make this choice, for the record he did this of his own free will.   This often left me pained with the feeling of being unloved & unwanted in his family.

Throughout my adult years I have fought this tooth and nail, trying to be involved in his life only to be left out in the cold time and time again.  I finally gave up and am in a happy place without him in my life now.  I accept that his lack of involvement has nothing to do with me but everything to do with him.

Continuing on.  I am very in touch with my own masculine side.  Logic tends to rule and fight constantly with emotion.  It stinks being an emotional Aries and being able to logically see that the emotions are exactly what they are and yet being unable to stop them or reason with them.

Balance *is* good in all things.  Dark/Light, Shadow/Bright, Masculine/Feminine  Why do I continue to get stuck?  Why do I continue to PUSH it?

Working with Goddess energies and Goddesses just seems right to me.  Getting in touch with both sides of my Feminine feels right.  Perhaps this is where I need to focus now and I should stop trying to force something out of myself that simply will not be forced.  I know where my masculine lines are and know how to use them.  It seems like in this time, in this place I need to focus on my feminine lines & learn how to live and love them.

I am going to take Lady Raven Moonshadow’s advice and let up on myself.  I am going to stop forcing it.  I am going to experience all the wonders that these Goddesses who are ‘breaking my doors down’  wish to share with me.  I am going to allow those wonders to unfold and envelope my life.

Posted on 12 August '08 by , under Feminine, Goddesses, Gods, Training, Wicca. No Comments.

Lost in the Rivers of Time and Dreams

I’ve had the oddest dream.  Not last night but the night before last.  In my dream I was Mary.  Yes *that* Mary but not entirely.  It was an interesting infusion of Mary that I had never heard of or encountered.

 

A little back story before I go too far into the dream itself.  A couple years ago, I began a search looking for some insight into Mary Magdalene, Persephone and Lilith.  I had been called to work for Lilith.  The embodiment of Sacred Feminine and Sexuality.  This led me to Mary Magdalene and to Persephone.  I have worked very little with the latter two yet continue to feel that they have played an important role in Sacred Feminine and Sexuality.

 

I’ll admit that most often women spend a great deal of time focusing on the Sacred Feminine.  I feel this is in part because we had the Sacred Masculine required and the *only* option for so long.  It’s like discovering you had a sister all the sudden and you just want to know more!

 

Onto the dream.

 

In my dream I was Mary but not entirely.  It was an interesting mix of Mary and Mary Magdalene.  I felt as if I were the embodiment of the Goddess herself.  I *knew* that my child (whom had not been conceived yet) would be persecuted and destroyed.  The twist on the tale is that I was getting ready to be married (arranged marriage) to Herod.  I knew that it would be Herod who would ultimately destroy ‘our’ son.  I had the gift of prophesy and psychic abilities as well in my dream.  I was a Priestess.  To look at me, you would easily say that I was a Roman Elite.  I was wearing a beautiful light colored and elaborately layered toga with gold, silver and jewels decorating the collar and sleeves.  My brown hair was coiffed high upon my head with a circlet surrounding the coif, with ringlets hanging down from it.  The circlet was a thin band of braided metals.  Clearly aristocratic & divine.  On my upper arms were bands, one of which was a snake coiled.

 

As my dream progressed, and the day of my arranged wedding drew closer, the Goddess seemed to simply radiate from within me.  On the day of my wedding, I began getting cramps signalling the coming of my moon cycle.  This was unacceptable to me.  I leaned carefully against a columned wall, placed my hands across my mid-section and began to breathe deeply.  Stating very clearly that there would be no Cycle right now, I would not be bleeding on my wedding day for conception was required of me.

 

This is around the time I woke up.

Clearly a very strange dream for me on several levels.  I will never bear children of my own and this is my choice.  In my dream the interesting mix of Goddesses coming together into one being struck a cord with me.  Once again I am picking up the Magdalene Manuscripts and reading.

 

In all this, I see that while I may be sacrificing something I love, good will come of that sacrifice.  I continue on knowing that I will see and experience great pain and loss.   The good that comes from this to me and my community and potentially the larger global community will be significant.

 

Things to ponder

Posted on 6 August '08 by , under Dream, Feminine, Goddesses. No Comments.