Archive for 'Dream'

A dark night rambling

Tonight I had planned on heading to bed at a decent hour so that I might not be so exhausted tomorrow.  Alas this is not how it is going to be.  I was nearly asleep when I was jarred awake by a muscle spasm. Lying there my mind started to wander through my day and everything that I have been doing as of late.  The Dark Night of the Soul that I have been going through has been intense.

I’ve been weighed down and in some ways feeling a titch bit lost in some respects. I have been doing some reclaiming of myself throughout this dark night things that I love doing.  In my spare time I have begun to blend Incenses and Oils for the Sacred Mists Spellbound Wearable Potions & Anointing Oils line.  To date we’ve had but two available that have been for sometime.  This is changing.  We will have Sabbats, Goddess, God, Esbat and Altar Oils available.  I completed the Goddess oil today.  The evaluation one ounce bottles will be shipped to the store and if Lady Raven loves them as I do, they will be added.  I will have coordinating herbal jars of incense & resin mixtures.  Each blend will be unique and exclusive to Sacred Mists.

A challenge that I have been dealing with is staying balanced in this crazy holiday time.  One would think that people would be more generous of spirit during the holidays but it seems to me they are more and more aggressive, rude and all around not nice to their fellow human beings.  When confronted with this horrific behavior I am reminded that I am a creature of spirit and growth.  I am trying to choose to rise above the petty behavior and return with smiles and kindness.  I want to be a good example of a Sacred Mists Priestess.

Tonight I have lit two candles on my desk.   The one shown above is my Goddess Affirmation candle, purchased at the  Sacred Mists shoppe, hanging on my altar oil cabinet are my Amethyst and Obsidian Prayer/Affirmation strand with the Triple Goddess Symbol in Silver.  To the right of my position I have my Sacred Mists Tradition Pillar burning directly  before my Freya statue.  Freya has been calling to me for sometime and I have been working to learn of this Goddess and  her ways.  She calls me to be her Priestess now and I am learning all about what that means to her and how to put this into my own path.

Freya is said to be a Goddess of Love and Fertility.  I have, in my own workings with her, discovered her to be a sensual Goddess.  She loves to be offered fresh, strongly scented flowers and likes to have beautiful music playing.  A part of my daily workings include playing or singing a Goddess Chant.  I am going to write one just for her, not something I am good at by any means but I feel it is appropriate.  She rules over the heavenly after life field, Fólkvangr, where she receives those who die in battle but do not go to Valhalla.  By her being associated with those who die heroically in battle, she is sometimes shown as a Valkyrie in the battle fields.  She radiates beauty and wisdom.

In my workings with her I am learning (as I did with Athena in past workings) when to choose my battles so that I might be victorious and not slain.  When I do fail, my choices leave lessons that resemble scar tissue and the part of me which has failed, rises above and becomes that of a heroically slain warrior for I have passed from what was to what is with great suffering and pain (of the heart or spirit).  She is also teaching me that I must love myself most completely.  Now while I do love myself and honor myself, I do have many things that I feel are failings.  Daily affirmations are helping me overcome this as are working on the failings to turn them into something more than just a piece of me which is overly criticized.

Tonight, as I finally begin to grow weary of the day once more, I will take these thoughts of Goddess, of Sacred Mists, of my Spirit to bed with me.  I will dream vividly.  I will find the answers hidden within the dream symbols that will help me find my way through the remainder of this Dark Night.  I walk the path of the Priestess for no reason other than it is a calling a duty that I must do and one that I am committed to.  I am further committed to walking the Priestess Path within Sacred Mists and in my community serving.

May the light of the Goddess shine to your heart, may she bring you peace, love, laughter and joy.  May your path be lit and your dark night be less frightening.  You are beloved and never alone.

Posted on 6 December '11 by , under Dream, Goddesses, Growth, Lady Raven, Life, Sacred Mists, Spirituality, Training, Wicca. No Comments.

From here it gets interesting

The seasons are starting to change in Florida.  This seems a bit odd I am sure since the seasons do not change in Southern Florida the way they do when people think of seasons changing.  There are no leaf colors, there is no snow, no grand monumental change that marks the seasons.  It gradually begins to cool off and not get so oppressively hot.  Eventually tapering off to being mid seventies during the day and in the sixties at night.  Lovely and in my opinion perfect weather.

During this time I tend to do two things simultaneously.  One being a lot of end of year review and introspection, the other being spending time outside. A lot of things begin happening around Samhain and the completion is by the end of the year.  This seems to be the case for me every year.

Right now I am standing upon a precipice of magnificent change both in my personal life and that in my life as a Priestess.  At the present I feel that everything about me is ready to change and transform.  This is no small change but something that will forever be a part of me in every way.

Today I am looking around my extremely cluttered desk, and partially cluttered altar (I took pictures of a new potential product that is a Sacred Mists own creation) and two things caught my eyes.  One a pendant I have that I bought from the Sacred Mists Shoppe that is a pewter dragonfly totem on a beaded silver chain.  Normally I keep this on my monitor hanging as Dragonfly is one of my power animals.  The other was a single peacock feather that I’ve had for quite sometime.   Peacock is also a power animal.

Dragonfly has been in my dreams lately most abundantly with the most vivid but two nights ago.  I dreamt there was a dragonfly nymph in my bathroom.  Beautiful little creature with blue in her wings and green on her body.  She allowed me to cup her in my hands to release her to the outside.  Blue for healing, green for fertility and new growth. Hmm interesting I thought upon waking up that day.  Today my peacock
feather took a tumble from it’s resting place to a large glass star ‘candy dish’ that I use to hold pillar candles.  Here are the same colors with a bit of golden and indigo in the mix.

Yes things are changing, I am changing and growing.  The journey to this point in my path has been extremely brambly and nettle ridden.  I am sore, tired and hurting in some ways still from events more than a year old.  I’ve moved towards working past the hurt and healing my spirit.

What is coming, I can’t say for sure but I have been given flashes of ideas and inspirations of what may come.  I am embracing the changes, my fault and working forward.  I understand that I cannot grow and evolve as a person and a Priestess without painful lessons and decisions.  I will embrace these changes, these pains and from them become a stronger person.  I have worked very hard to learn and earn my place in my path.  I cannot allow the challenges of being a Priestess to thwart the work because for me it is all about service.  I am a Priestess, I have a calling to serve those who come to me or to where I can be helpful to them.

There is much in my mind and heart that I wish to say but for now, I will say simply this.  I am here.  I have made mistakes.  I have learned from them and continue to learn from them.  I am thankful for those who have stood by me throughout in ways that words cannot simply express.  For the small handful of people who have talked me off of spiritual ledges, thank you.  Thank you hardly can be enough.

Posted on 6 December '11 by , under Dream, Growth, Life, Sacred Mists, shadow quest, Spirituality, Training, Wicca. 1 Comment.

Interesting turn of events…

It has been an interesting few days around my home.  There has been a lot of tension surrounding work (both mine and my husbands), schedule changes, lots to do and not enough hours in a day to do it all.

Yesterday I was forced to slow down.  I went to bed Tuesday evening with a headache that was tolerable and ignored the ‘aura’ that I had signalling a pending Migraine.

I woke up yesterday in so much pain I could have cried.  It was horrible.  After slurking downstairs slowly and carefully I began my day.  I really can’t ‘miss’ a day of work the way I used to be able to.  I can’t afford the time down and away as things get behind and well catching up stinks.  By 2pm I was in more pain.  The entire left side of my head was screaming.  I compared it to someone taking a kitchen aid to that side of my brain or trying to grow another head quickly out of the side of my head.  Anyway I took my last Imitrix and laid down in the other room with the newest cat.  I laid there napping for just over an hour then got up and went to my bed.  Gingerly I laid down and slept.  I slept for about 2.5 hours then decided to come downstairs to turn off the PC.  When the hubby got home, I had a small dinner and digested for a half hour or so then back to bed.

While eating…we talked about the day etc like we always do.  I apparently gave him a brief heartattack that morning before he went to work.  I slept with only the sheet and my arms uncovered.  Apparently this made me cold to the touch and I was not responding to his voice the way I usually do.  *insert panic attack*  After a moment I mumbled something and then he got ready for work.

When I laid back down I promptly fell asleep and then had a horrific nightmare of my own death.  I can’t recall much but I remember feeling cold and lifting away.  I would normally say that I am not afraid of death and dying.  I have been around those who are crossing over and been present as they did so.  This shook me to my very core.  I was terrified of life being over.

I am truly not sure where the fear came from as I have looked into the face of death as a dear friend passed over while I held his hand.  I have watched another friend fade from vibrant man to wasted body and unable to speak (pancreatic cancer).  I have said good-bye to friend and family alike.  The thought of not having more time with my husband horrified me.  I know in my heart and spirit I will live for sometime yet but the fear is there now.  Something I did not have before.  Something I need to touch on.  Something I need to approach and work through.  Perhaps another shadow quest to meet with Hades.  As Lord of the Underworld, perhaps a chat with him will help me understand a few things that are on my mind.  How lovely that this all happened around the New Moon.  New time for understanding.

I will be calling Marisol today or tomorrow to make my appointment for my Soul Retrieval.  The time is now.  I was given one moon cycle to complete this and half of it is over.  I suppose I will do that next week and then write about what is discovered….so much happening at once…

Posted on 13 May '10 by , under Dream, Growth, Life, meditation, shadow quest, Spirituality. No Comments.

Lost in the Rivers of Time and Dreams

I’ve had the oddest dream.  Not last night but the night before last.  In my dream I was Mary.  Yes *that* Mary but not entirely.  It was an interesting infusion of Mary that I had never heard of or encountered.

 

A little back story before I go too far into the dream itself.  A couple years ago, I began a search looking for some insight into Mary Magdalene, Persephone and Lilith.  I had been called to work for Lilith.  The embodiment of Sacred Feminine and Sexuality.  This led me to Mary Magdalene and to Persephone.  I have worked very little with the latter two yet continue to feel that they have played an important role in Sacred Feminine and Sexuality.

 

I’ll admit that most often women spend a great deal of time focusing on the Sacred Feminine.  I feel this is in part because we had the Sacred Masculine required and the *only* option for so long.  It’s like discovering you had a sister all the sudden and you just want to know more!

 

Onto the dream.

 

In my dream I was Mary but not entirely.  It was an interesting mix of Mary and Mary Magdalene.  I felt as if I were the embodiment of the Goddess herself.  I *knew* that my child (whom had not been conceived yet) would be persecuted and destroyed.  The twist on the tale is that I was getting ready to be married (arranged marriage) to Herod.  I knew that it would be Herod who would ultimately destroy ‘our’ son.  I had the gift of prophesy and psychic abilities as well in my dream.  I was a Priestess.  To look at me, you would easily say that I was a Roman Elite.  I was wearing a beautiful light colored and elaborately layered toga with gold, silver and jewels decorating the collar and sleeves.  My brown hair was coiffed high upon my head with a circlet surrounding the coif, with ringlets hanging down from it.  The circlet was a thin band of braided metals.  Clearly aristocratic & divine.  On my upper arms were bands, one of which was a snake coiled.

 

As my dream progressed, and the day of my arranged wedding drew closer, the Goddess seemed to simply radiate from within me.  On the day of my wedding, I began getting cramps signalling the coming of my moon cycle.  This was unacceptable to me.  I leaned carefully against a columned wall, placed my hands across my mid-section and began to breathe deeply.  Stating very clearly that there would be no Cycle right now, I would not be bleeding on my wedding day for conception was required of me.

 

This is around the time I woke up.

Clearly a very strange dream for me on several levels.  I will never bear children of my own and this is my choice.  In my dream the interesting mix of Goddesses coming together into one being struck a cord with me.  Once again I am picking up the Magdalene Manuscripts and reading.

 

In all this, I see that while I may be sacrificing something I love, good will come of that sacrifice.  I continue on knowing that I will see and experience great pain and loss.   The good that comes from this to me and my community and potentially the larger global community will be significant.

 

Things to ponder

Posted on 6 August '08 by , under Dream, Feminine, Goddesses. No Comments.