Back to life, back to reality.

Hann's Park Feb. 2013.  Good morning Sunshine!

Hann’s Park Feb. 2013. Good morning Sunshine!

I had wanted to start my re-entry into blogging with something positive and uplifting.  I am not sure this qualifies but it is relevant and what is happening right now.

Last weekend I went to Mare Island to participate in The Color Vibe 5K.  This is the second time I have done this particular 5K though it was in a different location this year.  The group I was to be walking with dwindled from 6 to 3 as folks dropped out for one reason or another.  I was mentally prepared for this.  Physically I would have been fine if not for the Sciatic attack the day previous that was still bugging me that morning.  I hoped with lots of stretching I would be ok.  It was not to be the case.  At approximately the 2nd of the 3.1 miles of the walk/run I had to stop.  I had been compensating to relieve pressure from my right side to my left and my knee had enough of that. I was, to say the least, disappointed.

I felt defeated and like I had failed.  I have been carrying this around since Saturday and today is Thursday.  At no point have I stopped walking in the time since.  Yes I have been kind to my body so that I could recover but I have continued forcing myself up and about to get through the physical pains and strains.  I have not; however, always been kind to myself emotionally in the last week.  I have decided that under no circumstances can this defeating self-talk continue.

It started with the words from Jennifer that were to me to be kind to myself and to walk that talk.  Change the negative to positive.  It continued with Lorien saying “fuck em” to anyone who decided to be cruel to me and let it roll off my back.  I am resolved to make this happen.  For the next 30 days.  Everyday I will say nice things to myself.  At the end of 30 days, I will feel differently.  I will have made my new habits and will walk my way from the dark.  Once again I will live in the light and joy of my life.  Hello Sunshine, it’s nice to see you again.

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Posted on 26 June '14 by , under Affirmations, Community, Dark Night, Growth, Life, Looks, Spirituality.