A dark night rambling

Tonight I had planned on heading to bed at a decent hour so that I might not be so exhausted tomorrow.  Alas this is not how it is going to be.  I was nearly asleep when I was jarred awake by a muscle spasm. Lying there my mind started to wander through my day and everything that I have been doing as of late.  The Dark Night of the Soul that I have been going through has been intense.

I’ve been weighed down and in some ways feeling a titch bit lost in some respects. I have been doing some reclaiming of myself throughout this dark night things that I love doing.  In my spare time I have begun to blend Incenses and Oils for the Sacred Mists Spellbound Wearable Potions & Anointing Oils line.  To date we’ve had but two available that have been for sometime.  This is changing.  We will have Sabbats, Goddess, God, Esbat and Altar Oils available.  I completed the Goddess oil today.  The evaluation one ounce bottles will be shipped to the store and if Lady Raven loves them as I do, they will be added.  I will have coordinating herbal jars of incense & resin mixtures.  Each blend will be unique and exclusive to Sacred Mists.

A challenge that I have been dealing with is staying balanced in this crazy holiday time.  One would think that people would be more generous of spirit during the holidays but it seems to me they are more and more aggressive, rude and all around not nice to their fellow human beings.  When confronted with this horrific behavior I am reminded that I am a creature of spirit and growth.  I am trying to choose to rise above the petty behavior and return with smiles and kindness.  I want to be a good example of a Sacred Mists Priestess.

Tonight I have lit two candles on my desk.   The one shown above is my Goddess Affirmation candle, purchased at the  Sacred Mists shoppe, hanging on my altar oil cabinet are my Amethyst and Obsidian Prayer/Affirmation strand with the Triple Goddess Symbol in Silver.  To the right of my position I have my Sacred Mists Tradition Pillar burning directly  before my Freya statue.  Freya has been calling to me for sometime and I have been working to learn of this Goddess and  her ways.  She calls me to be her Priestess now and I am learning all about what that means to her and how to put this into my own path.

Freya is said to be a Goddess of Love and Fertility.  I have, in my own workings with her, discovered her to be a sensual Goddess.  She loves to be offered fresh, strongly scented flowers and likes to have beautiful music playing.  A part of my daily workings include playing or singing a Goddess Chant.  I am going to write one just for her, not something I am good at by any means but I feel it is appropriate.  She rules over the heavenly after life field, Fólkvangr, where she receives those who die in battle but do not go to Valhalla.  By her being associated with those who die heroically in battle, she is sometimes shown as a Valkyrie in the battle fields.  She radiates beauty and wisdom.

In my workings with her I am learning (as I did with Athena in past workings) when to choose my battles so that I might be victorious and not slain.  When I do fail, my choices leave lessons that resemble scar tissue and the part of me which has failed, rises above and becomes that of a heroically slain warrior for I have passed from what was to what is with great suffering and pain (of the heart or spirit).  She is also teaching me that I must love myself most completely.  Now while I do love myself and honor myself, I do have many things that I feel are failings.  Daily affirmations are helping me overcome this as are working on the failings to turn them into something more than just a piece of me which is overly criticized.

Tonight, as I finally begin to grow weary of the day once more, I will take these thoughts of Goddess, of Sacred Mists, of my Spirit to bed with me.  I will dream vividly.  I will find the answers hidden within the dream symbols that will help me find my way through the remainder of this Dark Night.  I walk the path of the Priestess for no reason other than it is a calling a duty that I must do and one that I am committed to.  I am further committed to walking the Priestess Path within Sacred Mists and in my community serving.

May the light of the Goddess shine to your heart, may she bring you peace, love, laughter and joy.  May your path be lit and your dark night be less frightening.  You are beloved and never alone.

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Posted on 6 December '11 by , under Dream, Goddesses, Growth, Lady Raven, Life, Sacred Mists, Spirituality, Training, Wicca.