Archive for August, 2012

Daily Tarot – The Tower

The Tarot – Shadowscapes Tarot

Today is the first day that I’ve had time to devote to bringing my daily practices back since the move.  I retrieved my tarot bag which contained my deck, cloth and journal from my laptop bag and began to set back up on my desk.

The set up is a little different than before as it seems with the way I sit now the monitor is pulled forward a little, leaving less space up front for me to keep “stuff”.  This is not a bad thing just a different way for me to do this.  I’ll have to wrap up my cards each day and then put them away instead of leaving them out on the desk. 😉

Today’s card is quite a powerful one to pull, The Tower!  Lightning crashes across the sky and strikes the tower above  the home.  The home is built within a majestic tree with branches that reach out with  a community feel to the landscape.  Embers from the blaze, set by lightning, fall to the community below with some sparking fire to the homes below.  Still the foundation remains strong with no damage.In pulling this card, I must first state I disagree with the meaning the author has given this card.  In this card I see a brilliant or sudden change that shakes the foundation of life yet does not destroy the foundation.  This remains strong in faith, family and friends to support and steady things as they continue their transformation.  Now is a time to pull together to get the work of rebuilding done.  While you can do it alone, the work of community, friends and family will further strengthen the foundation to bring a lasting light and joy to the home/community.

I see a lot of things currently happening around me that this can be a revelation into and I am both excited and fearful for change, as most of us are.  I will stand tall and assist where needed, I will dig in and do the work to rebuild and strengthen the bonds of family.

Posted on 29 August '12 by , under Life. 2 Comments.

The mysteries and the move

As previously mentioned, I began an incredible journey on August 4th where I moved from my only known real home to my new home.  My new home is in California and will be my home till I cease to exist in this life.  This feels like home and it’s amazing to again begin to feel the stirrings of life in my heart that have been silent for so long.

On this trip, we drove a Large RV we rented from Cruise America and packed ourselves, the 4 cats, 1 dog and a dear friend and started driving first North then West.  It was very freeing to make the trek with people I love and to get out of a place I felt stifled and suffocated inside.  We started over in many ways.

There were things that I found along the way that played into my path and the mysteries of my own life that really brought the past few years home for me.  You see, I’ve been quite miserable in location and felt as if I lived in a bubble where I could not simply be myself outside this bubble.  This may have been imagined but in reality it was stroked gently over the years by the people from the society that surrounded me looking at me as less of a person in part because I did not fit into the mold that was expected of a young woman my age.  I am a 39 year old woman with no children (by choice), I have tattoos, I change my haircolor often (or did for a long time) often in very vibrant hues that are not “normal” for hair such as violet and magenta and blue.  To add to this I am a fat girl with her own sense of style.  In the land of plastic barbie girls, entitlement dolls, and elderly, I just did not fit in and they made sure I knew it.

This is not to say that I was devoid of local friends, I had a few of them.  These are the people that I genuinely care about and miss seeing.  The issue I was faced with daily was that I was, in general, not good enough for anyone that I did not already know to even bother trying to meet me.  Not even among these friends was the generality void as it was incredibly rare for people to gaze beyond my looks before they passed judgement upon me.

After a while that stopped hurting and I became a hardened shell of an angry and miserable person.  I just did not realize how bad it was until I shed the layers off of me as I left Florida behind me.  Throughout my trip, the further I got from Florida the more I discovered about those layers I had added to myself.  I was the most miserable person that I could have possibly been while maintaining a degree of non-crotchety decorum when out in the world.  Underneath all those layers I began to rediscover myself.  I have been hiding who I am for many years, out in the open to some and to still others they have no idea who I am or what I stand for.

By the time we hit Tahoe (a side trip for an afternoon and evening, instead of pushing through harder), I was exhausted and my head was reeling from revelation after revelation of what I had willingly done to myself.  We settled into our camp site after a quick stop at Safeway for some groceries.  After some delish dinner, we settled down at the table talking  and Jennifer built us a fire.  At some point while she was out running, I think, I decided I wanted to do a little magick around that fire.  I had brought some herbs and resins I dressed with oil and blessed.  They were to be for the new house; however, at that moment I needed to burn the lot of it.  I started throwing fist full after fist full into the blazing fire.  With each toss, I eradicated something from my past that held me back, something I built to protect myself, something I built within to keep others out, and so the list went on and on.  After I had taken care of all the personal fires I offered the herbs to Keith as we burned away the connections to the past, our old life so that we could truly start from scratch the next day upon arrival to our new home.

As each layer of who I was hit the fire and burned I felt lighter and more at peace than I had in years.  As the night wore on, the peace settled and I began to feel the stirrings of the magick created within this fire and gazed upon it.  I took my stick and drew a triple moon and a pentacle on the rocks inside the fire pit.  I offered a blessing of energy to the Goddess and left an offering within the pit as to not attract any creatures of the wood who might be hurt or hurt someone unsuspecting.

After six days in the RV I was ready to be done with it and get my life started again.   That Thursday morning we woke up and got a lovely start out of Lake Tahoe to head to Vallejo, where I would make my new home.  I was very excited.  For a little while I worked from the RV as we passed through the mountains, I lost connection and just enjoyed the sights.  Passing through town after town and city slowly the excitement built up.  We first had to go to Napa to borrow a vehicle for a couple days until our car arrived from Storage.  Riding through these places I was extremely at peace and joyful to be coming home finally.  After grabbing a car, I made a quick stop at the Sacred Mists Shoppe and then headed HOME.

It was an amazing day and fabulous to be home.  We brought everything in, grabbed some dinner and then settled down for the night.  Up early the next day to take Jennifer to the airport.  I worked a bit and the POD arrived with our stuff.  Ready for the next chapter to begin!

Posted on 27 August '12 by , under Growth, Life, Spirituality. No Comments.

A Great Adventure

On August 4th I began the journey of a lifetime.  This is something I will do only once in my life and it’s simply a life altering experience.  I am traveling across America from the place that has been my home for most of my life, South Florida, to California.  Our destination is Vallejo, a mere ferry ride of one hour to San Fran, where Keith will be working and a half hour to the Sacred Mists Shoppe via car where I will be able to go in once a week or so and work my magick.

All in all this journey is pretty amazing and I have learned a great deal about myself along the way.  Things that I used to not notice or chose to not notice.  These are the things I am resolved to change about myself.  Life, for me, is about balancing the light and the shadow within.  I acknowledge the shadow that whispers in my heart that feels hurtful and yes even says mean things.  I work very hard to never let the mean things cross my lips.  I never want to cause people around me pain and to hurt a friend is just not something I am willing to do for any reason.  I endeavor to always speak from the love within my heart and I know sometimes I slip this and fail, more on this later.

Along the way we found several things about our immediate environment that are no longer acceptable to be present.  I cannot surround myself with people who are negative, rude or feel entitled.  These are predominant attitudes in South Florida that we have been around for so long we, for sometime, did not even notice.  We slowly realized that this was the general attitudes of the area as we grew and evolved as adults together.

To chronicle our journey we created a Facebook Pagewhere we have been doing check-ins and I have been loading lots of pictures.

Taken at the Petrified Forest Park in Arizona

Our route was simple and allowed us for some time to be able to take in any of the sights we truly wanted to see and fly by the ones we did not.  Our goal on day one was to get out of FL.  We did this easily and landed near Birmingham Alabama the first day.  We drove with purpose and took shifts to make it happen.  Along with us is our long time and good friend Jennifer.  It’s been a great trip all around so far.  By the end of the 2nd Day we made it to Oklahoma City. By Monday night we managed to make it to Flagstaff Arizona where we pulled in really late for the night.  On Tuesday we stopped at Lake Isabella California.  Our goal for today, Wednesday, is Lake Tahoe.  It’s been a decade since I have been there and when I can work today I will do so that way the impact of this trip is lessened a bit.

The sights and scenery once we hit New Mexico turned to enchanted and beautiful.  I feel so blessed to be able to make this move and to have a boss that has supported and encouraged my growth and move with great patience and love.

It’s been about a week since I started this entry and have had little time to actually fully process the journey I’ve made as it’s been quite non-stop action for me.

New Mexico was beautiful, Arizona AMAZING, Nevada way too hot and then California sweet California.  We stopped and stayed in Lake Tahoe one night for a little respite.  I had brought along with me some herbs I had made and decided that we should burn them in the fire that night.  After the camp fire was lit and burning brilliantly and beautifully Keith and I began throwing handfuls of fragrant herbs mixed with resins into the fire.  Leaving behind us as they burned, our old life.

We arrived to our new home (after a quick stop in Napa) on Thursday the 9th.  The days that followed were whirlwind like with getting things to stock the house to get life moving again.

I am pleased to say that we are mostly stocked and ready to move on with it already.  Our bed frame should arrive in a few weeks but the POD is empty and GONE.  Keith started his new job yesterday and I am quite exhausted.

There will, no doubt, be several posts with many pictures from the trip over the course of the next couple weeks as I find time to digest the massive changes that I have undergone recently.

May your path be blessed & may your day be filled with joy, love and laughter.

Posted on 14 August '12 by , under Life. 1 Comment.