Archive for July, 2012

This surreal moment

In this moment my life seems surreal.  For many years I have dreamed, hoped and worked to live a good life, be a good person and to share the blessings that are in my life with those around me.  I have lost my way many times to find it again and again.

Several things keep running through my head almost on a loop.  A couple songs, “Yes”, “Walkin’ on Sunshine” “Goin’ back to Cali” and a quote which is a modified Labyrinth quote “Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way here to my castle beyond the trials, tears and fears; to take back the life that is mine, for my will is strong and my desire great.   You have no power over me.”

Yes it might be a little corny and such but it fits my life.  I am that corny girl that beats to the rhythm of her own drum.

Right now I am working in my living room which is, for all intents and purposes, empty.  My laptop is set up on top of a plastic bin which is upside down on an office chair and I sit in the other chair.  Sitting along side me are boxes that I am putting together to ship an order out to Sacred Mists Shoppe with some paper and some beaded affirmation/prayer strands before I cannot do anymore for a couple weeks tops.

Is this ergonomically correct?  Not in the slightest but it lets me continue to work while we put the last few things together and WAIT for Friday to arrive so that we can begin the journey across the country.

It’s very surreal to me that this is finally happening.  In November of 2000 I went to Napa for work, we stayed for a team retreat in Bodega Bay.  I fell in love with Northern California in that week visit and have dreamt about moving there since.  A couple years later we (the hubs and I and some friends) went to Lake Tahoe for a week vacation.  Again love!  In 2005ish I think it was, I went to Carlsbad/Oceanside for a Student Council Retreat.  Again…Love.

Fast forward to July 2010, I flew to California (San Fran then shuttled to Napa) for the opening of the physical store of  Sacred Mists Shoppe.  Total love.  As a girl who dances to the beat of a drummer that is slightly insane and has a crazy rhythm anyway, it seemed odd to me that I fit in so very well in this small town.

Every visit since has cemented my desire to move out west.  It just fits better, not only me but my husband as well.  This is the Chinese Year of the Dragon, a great time for transformation and everything that I have put out to be manifest over the years is transforming into something absolutely amazing (and spendy) but this is going to be worth it in health and happiness for us.

It’s surreal to me that a dream is coming to pass at long last and that the changes I began last year will be fulfilled with my health.  There is no need for me to be hidden anymore I can just be.

I realize this is rambly.  There will be many more of these over the next week or two while I get the house in South FL settled and cleared, the trip which begins EARLY Saturday morning.  Excitement is bubbling over top of the fear of starting over.  I hope you will join me on this ride, right here on my Witches Diary.

Posted on 31 July '12 by , under Life. 4 Comments.

Moving is happening!

Ariyana and I took C’Nedra (one of the cats) to the vet last Saturday.  Our vets are absolutely fabulous and we adore them.  If you are in South Florida (South Palm Beach or Broward County) we highly recommend these guys.  Pet Vet in Deerfield is an amazing place.  The staff is so nice, Dr. Haskins & Kuehnel are amazing.  Amy & Stephanie up front are fabulous as are the entire Tech Staff there.

We too C’Nedra in for her flucosamine test (she’s diabetic) and her Rabies shot.  We do multiple year shots for the cats to minimize the trauma on them.  Anyway the toy in Ariyana’s mouth is the Vet’s toy for one of their dogs.  It’s a fuzzy slipper.  Ariyana has a habit of needing something in her mouth and she loves on people so much that she makes “wookie” noises.  Maybe I should have named her Bacca instead. *laugh*

Our POD was delivered yesterday so we are prepping for the packing “party” tomorrow.  The last few things are getting packed up last night, tonight and the last of the errands running as we go along.  We take Ariyana to my in-laws tonight so she is not underfoot when we are in and out of the house tomorrow, especially with so many people.

The planning is going along schedule just right and things have fallen into place perfectly.  This weekend we have the packing of the POD, Monday it gets picked up and begins the trek across country for delivery to our new home on 8-10 in California.  Between now and next Friday we will have cleaning to do and will be in suitcases! *laugh*

Right now the house has boxes and packing supplies scattered.  There are filled boxes (Rubbermaid totes), sheets for wrapping things, bubble wrap, paper and other misc items.  It’s very strange to me to see this happening in some ways.  We have lived in this house for 14 years now and it’s been our home.  We are getting ready to vacate it and someone else will live in it, change the colors and make it theirs.

I am truly looking forward to these changes and the adventure that awaits me.

Next Friday (Aug 3), we are being driven to Orlando by some good friends to pick up our RV rental.  We are driving in the RV with the 4 cats and the dog plus us.  It should prove to be interesting!  Our “Great American Journey” begins on the 4th.  Work will be interesting with me working a few hours each day in the mornings and at night if I am not too drop dead tired.  Auto-responder changes are almost perfect for this.

The next week, while entirely packed and hectic will be exciting as we are truly making a new and huge change in our lives.  We started with working at our health and have extended that to mental and spiritual health.  I will be closer to the Covenstead, my High Priestess, my job and a huge chunk of my friends.  I will be leaving a few friends behind but I anticipate seeing them out to visit!  So excited!  I could babble on forever about everything in my head over this but will leave you today with this.

Tarot Cards are packed in one of my boxes so I need to dig them out again so I can continue to do readings for myself. *laugh*

Posted on 27 July '12 by , under Life. No Comments.

No really, you are pretty awesome

This past weekend was a pretty tough weekend for me.  I will be writing up my Shadowscapes tarot pull for today later but first I am compelled to write about my weekend and all that is going on in my life.  This post will be very rambly and kind of all over the place so hold on tight for the ride!

I have periods where I get very depressed, this is simply a part of who I am and I deal with it as best I can via natural remedies and in every way that I can to avoid going back on anti-depressants.  It’s hard.  I struggle with it often but at the end of the day the anti-depressants numbed me too much and I just don’t want to live like that anymore.  The joys in my life exceed the sorrow and I work to stay in that mindset.

This past Saturday I was left alone to my own devices, as my husband was in California securing our new home and scouting the area etc.  This is not always a good combination for me.  Often I will sink down and get stuck then have to work my way back up.  I started to sink into a lonely state but then picked myself right up and said “Hell with it” and carried on.  I began some serious purging of “stuff” and packing of stuff that we were keeping.  At the end of Saturday a huge chunk of it was done, my kitchen was spotless and I was exhausted and it was AWESOME to get it all done!

Sunday came around and some friends came to join in the packing fun.  The house (save for desks, glassware, and toiletries), is packed and ready to be loaded into our POD which gets delivered later today.  There are a few odds and ends that need wrapped and packed but those will happen while we are loading the pod up and such.

Looking around my home seems so empty, it’s filled with many memories and potential of future memories.  We are renting the house to a friend who will continue the work we’ve started on interior remodeling (and do a better job than amateurs like me).  Within me I feel a seed stirring.  Long ago planted and forgotten, it holds within it the hope and promise of a new day and brighter life.  This move to me means a new start where my friends live.  I leave behind me a handful of dear friends, who I will miss, but ultimately will come visit me. 🙂

The promises of the beauty to come sustains and nourishes me as I continue walking forward in this life.  This year has truly lived up to the “year of the dragon” with the plethora of life altering transformations that begun sometime ago and have become manifest this year.

This weekend we pack the POD and finish clearing out the house.  Next Friday we begin our journey by picking up the RV.

Throughout all of this, I could not have remained sane had it not been for my friends locally, the support of my wonderful boss and my community at Sacred Mists.

To my friends locally, I love each and everyone one of you and cherish all our memories.  You have been with me for a long time, we have shared many experiences, many sadnesses and many good times. Judy, you have helped me when I have fallen, you have reminded me that I am awesome, you have been there when I needed you to be there.  Donna, your smile always warms me, your laughter incites joy and I will see you at Skillmania via Skype to keep our record going!  Jennifer, we have been friends for what seems like forever (15 years is a long assed time), we have been through a lot together and will continue to keep those times rolling.  We will continue to make new memories over the years and I fully expect you to come and visit me anytime.  We have the room!

To my boss, you have been a beacon of light through many dark places in my life.  You have been with me when I have fallen spiritually and physically.  You are not just my boss, you are not just my High Priestess you are my friend and sister in all things.  I am eternally grateful for your presence in my life and look forward to this next chapter.

To my community at Sacred Mists, your love and support over the years has meant the world to me.  We grow, learn and lift each other in times of need.  Each member of Sacred Mists is sacred and precious to my life.  Whether you are still with The Mists or not you have played an integral role in my life and I cherish that.  We will continue to grow together for years to come as we walk the path of the olde ways and wise.

YOU reading this, YOU are awesome and whether you know it or not have contributed something to my life on some level.  DO I know you?  Maybe not but you read my blog and you contribute that energy to my life.  That makes YOU AWESOME.  Each of us are awesome and contribute to the energy of this life in ways we cannot imagine.

Yesterday I wrote this:

May your day be blessed with joy, love, laughter and light. Each and every day we make choices that trickle and ripple the world around us. My choices today will send ripples of joy and laughter to those around me. Blessings-Lady Lilyth

Today I wrote this:

With love and joy in my heart, I greet today. The past has made me stronger and wiser, the future holds things of wonder. I embrace all that I was, am and will become with open arms and love. May your day be blessed, my friends, with much laughter and joy.Blessings-Lady Lilyth

Each of these are things that I mean from the heart and each action I have in every day ripples in ways that I cannot know.  I choose to have awesome ripples to make someone’s day a little brighter.  With that may YOUR day be blessed with AWESOME and LAUGHTER and JOY!

 

Posted on 26 July '12 by , under Life, Spirituality. 4 Comments.

A harvesting time

Today was an interesting beginning to my morning reading.  The Eight of Wands appeared again so I chose two more cards for a more complete message for today.  Next I received the Eight of Swords and finally the Seven of Pentacles.

The Eight of Wands, as previously discovered, signifies the beginning.  A desire whispered to the winds, a decision sent to the universe to be made manifest.  We see a great undertaking which has been started.  To me this shows the beginning of when we decided to move from Florida and begin to find ways to make it to California.  The desire, whispered on the winds, the decision to definitely make it happen made.  The universe began to place things in our path to make this happen for us.

The next card pulled was the Eight of Swords.  This card filled me with so much emotion looking upon it.  The first thing that is drawn to the eye is a swan that is struggling with brambles and stuck.  Pain is being inflicted.  Looking closer at the card you see the background which resembles to me, the Dark Goddess.  The swan has begun a walk on the path of shadow, a Dark Night of the Soul is taking place.  During the dark night you are faced with challenges which will either force you forward through will and aid or you will falter and fall into the brambles to be added to the discarded remains of those before you, that have undergone this journey.  As you struggle, you take more damage to spirit and body.  Becoming frantic only makes matters worse and the pain increases.  You want to give up and walk away from the pain when you notice it.  Just above you a light, a messenger in the form of a hummingbird.  At the insistence of the hummingbird, the swan stops struggling.  The hummingbird is representative of the light ahead.  You have struggled for so long, you are about to be rewarded with the completion of this Dark Night.

The next card pulled was the Seven of Pentacles, a card of completion, accomplishment and relaxation.  The seeds which you whispered on the wind so long ago have grown and blossomed.  They have been fortified for strength through the Dark Night, they have been given the gift of light and fertilized with hope and joy.  This is a time for harvest.  Appreciate the growth that has come as you began this journey.  The time for work on this has passed, your seeds have grown to fruition.  It is a time for calm moments, consideration and the alternatives of a new path which now lays ahead of you.

What an amazing reading today that signifies everything that we have been going through as this phase truly comes to a close.  In two weeks time I will be making my way westward.  There is much mundane work to be done between now and then for packing, loading and various visits with friends and family as we prepare to leave the East Coast.  This is all a part of the harvest.  We are ready to gather up that which we have created this year as Lughnasadh approaches quickly and in this time of the first Harvest we will be granted our desires and a prosperous new journey to undertake.  I look forward to new challenges and a new direction for life.  I foresee a healthier and happier time ahead filled with new spiritual and mundane challenges which I eagerly plan to gobble up.

Posted on 19 July '12 by , under Dark Night, Growth, Life, Spirituality, Tarot. No Comments.

Mastery of order over chaos

This is an amazing card and absolutely perfectly timed to arrive in my life.

Poised in the center, and seemingly coming from the ground below stands the Majestic Lord.  The roots and branches of Earth wrap around his ankles and around him, sprites can be seen sitting upon the branches as if they are awaiting orders from him.

Wearing a loose robe, he holds at center a globe which contains the light and energy of creation within it.  He is adorned with the Horns of the Wild God, draped from one is the Ankh of Everlasting Life.

In a stone wheel behind him you see depicted animals great and small, from land and sea and air.  He is Lord of this domain and carries mastery over the elements of it.

In the beauty of this card, I see the mastery of my own domain and order over chaos.  Right now my life is extremely chaotic as I prepare for a cross-country relocation & move.  This is of course a lot of work coordination and a lot of packing!  Throw into the mix 4 cats and a dog who need attention, affection and reassurance and little things that go wrong, the environment is ripe for chaos to blossom and bloom.

This card is a great reminder that with some effort, I hold within me the keys to creating and maintaining order as we make this move.  Balancing the chaos with order is not an easy task but one that I am up for and will achieve!

Posted on 18 July '12 by , under Life, Tarot. No Comments.

Receiving the gifts

I find this card to be quite beautiful.  I’ve yet to find one I don’t though!

Against a crescent moonlit landscape a cloaked figure stands with two swords drawn.  They are in a protective stance, barring and blocking his heart from harm and pain.  Surrounding him are sprites and two swans.  The swans offer him gifts.

Behind him, gifts of beauty and before him gifts from the heart or those given in love.  The sprites watch as the events around them unfold.

From the safe place within I must decide to receive these gifts around me, those some may hurt, this is all a part of the great journey of life.  I have come to this place having been hurt and have steeled myself against further harm.

Seeing this card today allows me to set aside the hurts of the past and drop some of my protective wall against those who have harmed me and mine in the past.  All around me are things of great beauty.  Beauty and love can be found in friendships and journeys ahead.  I will walk into this journey with my eyes open, my heart open and without the fear that has been steadily growing and keeping me from fully appreciating the amazing journey I am about to undertake.

Wonderful card for today and one that fills me with hope as I do indeed move forward.  Drawn swords will be released and the cloak’s hood will be dropped.  The journey is embraced and exciting!

Posted on 17 July '12 by , under Growth, Life, Spirituality, Tarot. 2 Comments.

A conspiracy theory to live by

A friend of mine posted a picture on facebook with a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote on it.  The quote is simple and profound at the same time.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen

The universe and I have long been friends in conspiracy.  The road is not always easy but the decision firmly made will manifest.  The universe WANTS you to be happy and enjoy your life.  I am a firm believer in this.

One of my biggest desires was turned into a decision.  For too long we have been unhappy and trying new things to be happy and always they are short term.

We always find things that make us happy.  We get up early and go bike riding, getting fit, doing things with family and the pup.  When it comes right down to it the happiness is just really not there.  When you are not happy what is it that you do to fix it?  You figure out what is missing or what is making you unhappy and you make a decision to change it.  After making a multitude of changes we discovered that one of the biggest reasons we are unhappy is our general environment.

By this I mean several things and if they are all out of whack, it simply bleeds over into everything else.  What do you do when everything surrounding you adds to an unhappy life?  The general public has become quite crotchety, mean, sour and entitled (sometimes all at once – YIKES).  These things enter the sanctuary of home making it less and less a sanctuary.  You look for things to fix that and they are only short term.

At some point you determine that you simply must get out of the toxic environment (people & weather) that plagues your joy in life.  When you make that decision you set into motion an unstoppable train that will take you down a treacherous track from which you cannot be derailed only continue to rocket down.  After many twists, turns, and seemingly impossible upside down experiences you emerge through a darkened tunnel.  On the other side of this tunnel is a LIGHT.  It is that which you decided to move towards.  It’s within reach now.

The road has been hazardous and filled with much pain.   These things are put in the path to ensure that this is truly the decision for you.  No decision comes without pain.  No change comes without sacrifice.  I offer to this decision my blood, sweat and tears, the tears flow more freely now than they have in a very long time.  The sweat comes more frequently as well.  The blood…yes that has flowed as well.

Standing firmly in this decision we begin to embark on a change that will take me away from Florida into California.  I have dreamed this for years (since my first visit to Napa in 2000 with my former company), I have desired this.  Not only is this the thing I desire but it is the right thing for US.  Everything falls into place neatly, with challenges overcome and a solid plan.

You can see the signs of packing and the joy that I feel from this picture taken on 7-10.  The move has a conditional offer set on it pending a background check, which as of last night has come back with a WOO HOO!

We have secured a rental house (with a yard for Ariyana) in Vallejo (it looks like one of the great neighborhoods) and Keith is off to visit and drive it and sign the lease for one year!  We have rented an RV with which we will make the great cross-country trek in with all the pets (4 cats + 1 dog).  Pods will be handling the moving of STUFF and a transport for the car.

Here I come California!  At long last we will be reunited on a permanent basis.  My friends in Cali, it will be so wonderful to see you all again I have missed you so much!

Posted on 17 July '12 by , under Life, meditation, ritual, Spirituality, Training. 2 Comments.

A moment of cleansing

It takes but a moment of time to cleanse and release your fears, your woes and your tears.  This is the hardest thing sometimes, to release them and move forward.

Today I pulled this truly stunning card – Five of Cups.  My intuitive reading will be different than what the card actually means, according to the author.

What a truly stunning card this is.  It is filled with hope and sadness, colored in shades of blue, lavender and sandy beaches.

A woman stands upon the edge of a sandy beach.  She is surrounded by sprites and faeries of light, divine messengers.  She feels led to this place at the edge of her world.  She has trekked a great distance through a journey filled with pain, tears and many challenges.  She has received divine assistance by way of the Fae throughout her journey, though she seems to not notice at the moment.  Along this journey she has collected her tears, the pains and even some fears.  She has collected them and carried them with her.  A great many things have been learned on this journey and now she comes to the shore.  Where the water begins and the land ends she sees scattered about her the remnants of other journeys and other offerings.  Here she will place her offering of pain and fear embodied within the tear filled bowl.  The next step of her journey will lead her out to sea where she will be cleansed of these emotions which no longer serve her and with the strength of purpose she moves forward in life.

Again she feels the aid of the divine, the blessings of the Fae, blessings of the Goddess as everything begins to move, she looks up and will hold her head high.

This is very fitting for me to pull.  Each day, with each card I feel my path coming together, the journey to be undertaken will be great as was the last I took, to get to this place.  Guided by spirit and divine blessings I move forward, releasing the pain and the tears through divine cleansing is taking place each day a fear removed and a tear released.

Posted on 16 July '12 by , under Growth, Life, Tarot. 3 Comments.

A great journey begins

A beautiful card appears today.  A Priestess holding a wooden staff that bears the seeds of the tree it is from, resembling dandelion puffs, is surrounded by a natural and neutral colored landscape.  Beside her a pair of foxes stand guard, one watchful of her movements as she blows seven seeds to the winds.

To me this shows the release of her will to be manifested and entrusted to the universe and Goddess to aid in manifestation of this decision.  She stands poised and ready for growth potential to receive the blessings bestowed with this growth.

Here we have the makings of a new journey that may be long towards a goal or great undertaking.  This great work is at hand and you are speeding towards the reward with hope and momentum.  A blessing of the Goddess and Priestess of the olde ways guides you towards this goal.

What an amazing card to pick today.  Truly remarkable in every way.  Each card has had a relevance for the day’s events that I could not fathom as being anything other than synchronous in nature.  I began today with the hope of a coming journey and in this I shall see it manifest.  The bums in the road have already begun to appear yet deep within I feel a peace and understanding of these obstacles as being necessary as a part of the journey.  While I am working towards a goal and  a destination, it is as much about the journey there as it is the final bit of manifestation.  Things to ponder upon as I go about my day.

Posted on 14 July '12 by , under Growth, Life, Spirituality, Tarot. No Comments.

Releasing the controls

Like yesterday I pulled a Shadowscapes Tarot card for daily insight.  I am finding comfort in this routine and am loving the messages and how they relate to my day.

Today I pulled the Four of Pentacles.  This is a truly beautiful card where a Dragon coils around it’s treasure and seems to want to keep it to himself.

An embodiment of the possessive spirit who must always be in control can be seen within this card.  As he is coiled tightly around his hoard, he protects it and controls it from the others near him who in his mind threaten his hold upon it.  As a result of this, the spirit lives in a gilded cage of his own making.

It’s very interesting to me that I pull this card today.  I’ve been struggling, personally, with my parents and their smoking.  This is especially hard for me as my dad has lung cancer.  I care very deeply for my parents and would like them to be around for a long time to come; however, it is not my decision.  I’ve been trying to control this habit of theirs for a very long time.  By doing this I have constructed a cage or barrier between us that reads NO SMOKING and on the other-side there is no tolerance for smoking whatsoever.

My personal views on smoking aside, I do have this viewpoint because I love them and am not ready to part with them and their health is important to me.  Well this barrier that I’ve created is harmful, not only to myself but to them and our relationship in general.

I cannot walk a mile in their shoes.  I cannot make decisions for them.  I can respectfully ask that they quit smoking for their health.  I release my need to control this.  I release the barrier I’ve created.  It’s not up to me to control this.  I love them regardless of the smoking and will enjoy whatever life has left to us and pray that they see the health benefits in quitting, in time.

No longer do I try to control it.  No longer will I withhold love because they smoke.  No longer will it come between us.  So Mote It Be.

Posted on 13 July '12 by , under Life, Spirituality, Tarot. 2 Comments.