Archive for March, 2011

Caterpillar or Butterfly…Both?

Well it’s that time again.  That’s right another long and rambling post from yours truly.  As of late I have been going through quite a bit in my life…between health and personal challenges I can say that it’s time to toss off the gloves and just go at it.

Coming into 2011 I knew that this would be a huge year of transformation for me that would build upon the destruction of 2010.    Now I am saying destruction of 2010 and I mean this in the most spiritual and emotional of ways for myself.  I underwent a series of tear downs that resulted in me being left standing amidst the flames of life struggling to put it all together.  Eventually I simply allowed the flames to overtake me.

By allowing the destruction of several aspects of life and myself, I facilitated the beginning of a cycle of renewal and growth.  With the start of the new year I began working through my Dark Night of the Soul to see the lessons that were presented to me.

Now I begin working with Butterfly energy to transform those events into life lessons that I will forever hold in my heart. I accept that I am an imperfect being in an imperfect world.  I strive to become a better person through these lessons in my life.

One of the biggest things that I can say changed my life forever was the visit to California last July. In July I flew to California for several months to help my wonderful friend and boss open our first Retail location for Sacred Mists Shoppe.  This would prove to be more work than we thought it would be compounded with a great deal of personal struggles that happened not long after I arrived. Perhaps it was one thoughtless act or several over the course of who knows how long my entire life changed drastically and quickly.

I still work to adapt and grow professionally with the changes to work.  My personal growth from what happened has been amazingly insightful into my own shadow. I do my best to be a good friend,

a good employee and a good person all around.  I know sometimes I fail.  I try to see where I made a mistake and learn from it.  Sometimes, I do not succeed at seeing the mistake and it costs me.

Time has a way of always marching on, whether we are ready for it or not.  The great thing about time and the path that I walk is that  it encourages introspection and growth.  I can honestly say that I am a different person now than I was even 6 months ago, hell even 4 months ago.

Butterfly is teaching me to accept the power that I have with grace and humility.  It teaches me to own my beauty and spirit, to not be afraid of evolving from caterpillar to butterfly.  The world changes fast, you can either change with it and grow or you can resist it and be left in the wake of all that is left behind.

I am embracing my own change and while I do not know what tomorrow will hold I will accept each and every lesson and all experiences shall be savored.

Posted on 10 March '11 by , under Growth, Life, Sacred Mists, Spirituality, Training. 1 Comment.

Perception, a ramble of little importance to anyone but me

How you perceive the world dictates what your reality is.  Can you also say that how reality perceives you is who you are?

No one can tell you who you are, what you will say or how you will react but you.  If one person says you are a horrible person, then another says you are mean, then yet another says you are sweet and wonderful, which is the truth of you?  Well it could be all of the above.  While others may perceive you in very different ways than you perceive yourself, this could be a result of several things that may not be immediately obvious.

We meet people in our lives exactly when they are meant to be there so that we can grow in our path and evolve in this lifetime.  The situations we may find ourselves in may not always be pleasant and may require us to work within our shadow selves or the parts of ourselves that we are ‘less than pleased with’.  These shadow aspects are vital to our lives.  You cannot have light without the shadow and there can be no shadow without the light.  They are two sides of the same coin, two slivers of the amazing web of life.

If you turn to the left you will see the colors of the rainbow shining upon the silken strands, if you look to the right you see the spider cocooning his meal for dining later.  This, while it may seem vaguely creepy to us as humans it is a part of the amazing tapestry of life and no more creepy or undesirable than any of our own ways and quite beautiful in it’s simplicity.

We perceive the spider to be creepy and give it aspects of shadow, yet there is much beauty in it’s every action of life.  I have been working within my own shadow aspects for quite sometime now.  The working with shadow is not always pleasant nor is it easy to do.  We seldom like looking at our less savory qualities let alone try to understand them and work with them so that they serve us not against us.

A part of my own shadow work has involved me looking more deeply than I knew the rabbit hole went.  What I found was a little startling at first but I have come to understand it and work with it.  You see I have a deeply seated habit.  I take on too much to prove that I am worthy of x,y or z.  The fact of the matter is.  I am worthy of everything that I receive in my life.  I am a good person and I do not have to prove that to myself or anyone else.  I am no longer going to dim my inner light, I gave up the fear of success last year.  It was a liberating and beautiful thing to give up that fear.

In the light of daylight *I* perceive myself to be radiant, intelligent, beautiful and wise.  Under the light of the moon, I radiate the same light and for no one will I hide that or hide from that.  The rest of the world will catch up with my perceptions eventually and when they do, I will welcome them to my world with the love of the Goddess and the light of my heart.

I do realize that this post is a little on the rambly side, for this I apologize, I am just typing what is crossing my mind tonight to help get it all out before I turn in for the night.  I have things to consider, decisions to make and a life to lead boldly and without regret.


Posted on 8 March '11 by , under Growth, Life. 2 Comments.

Food for thought…

In one of my paper journals that I write in, it has scattered throughout it, the occasional quote or picture.  Recently I discovered a quote by Sarah Orne Jewett that struck a deep chord within me.

“The growth of true friendship may be a lifetime affair”

Like anything worth doing, it takes time, dedication and love to truly develop it.  I believe this also to be the case with friendship in its many forms.

People come into our lives through many routes and may be for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  No matter how long a friend is with you, the mark that they leave with you does indeed become a lifetime affair and marking upon your spirit.

I believe friendship never truly ends or dies, it is simply transformed into what we need, as spiritual beings, to grow and evolve throughout the course of our lives.  As friends come into our lives, they mark our hearts and spirits.  Some may leave us; however, the marks they made upon our hearts always remain.  The mark of friendship, love, joy and growth.  These marks help us through the tough times that may come due to a parting, or later down the road after a parting has eased.  We remember not the parting or the pain but the joy and the love we felt for them and very well may still feel.  

Friends will come and go and may again return to our lives many years later as I have discovered with the case of a few very old friends returning to my own life.  Spirit attracts to our lives exactly what we need and when we need it so that our life’s goals and evolution can continue.  We simply must open our heart to the lessons that we are presented with.

I honor friendships past and present for the marks they have left upon my spirit and thank each person for those lessons they gifted to me.  I grow and become a better person because of those who come and go in my life.  I thank you for your gifts, love, support and if we are parted know that I honor your contribution to my life.  For those standing with me, I love you!

Posted on 3 March '11 by , under Circle, Growth, Life, Spirituality. 3 Comments.