I have recently been taking a course on Courting Desire: the Soul’s Longing for Purpose by T. Thorn Coyle. The course focuses on knowing what you truly want to follow, and following that desire in order to be more in-tune with your live and generally be happier about things!
So far the course has not been difficult, except in one aspect. Resistance.
It is not uncommon for me to find myself starting the reading, then putting it down. Starting to think about or do the exercises, then finding something else more important, or urgent, or just more interesting.
It has very little, if anything, to do with the work that is being presented. The lessons are well written and clear. Thorn is often on the forums and responds to questions openly and readily. It has everything to do with me.
I still haven’t identified why I’m so resistant. Am I worried that people will find it odd? Am I worried that I won’t spend enough time with my husband? Am I worried that I won’t like what I find when I take the time to listen? Am I concerned that it’s too much work? or that it will take away from other things that I enjoy.
I don’t really know.
I do know that it’s more like thick jello than a hard wall and with enough persistence, enough will, I can get through it.
It is rare that I get the chance to sit down with my books and notes and actually create something in my Book of Shadows.
Last weekend I finally did that. The hard part is not the finding the time, as much as it is finding the time when I’m not doing something else. There are so many things that I do, things that I’d like to do, and things that I think I have to do.
Lately, I’ve taken to creating with my beautiful glass dip pen, and some green ink .. and decorating the pages using Zentangle-inspired shapes and decorations.
I do have an online book of shadows where I put a lot of commonly referenced things like correspondences or ideas for spells or rituals that I haven’t had a chance to try out. Slowly things are getting transferred into my physical book. In this age of electronics, I do sometimes appreciate taking the slow way to get things done.
Once they’re created, each one of those pages get scanned and put into an eBook .. which does strike me as odd, but if it’s in an eBook it’s easier for me to carry around and to take advantage of those little moments where I want to look something up, or make a note, or plan tonight’s spell …
A few weekends ago, I’m not really sure how many at this point as work has been a bit insane, I went to Pantheacon. I was lucky enough to have some friends who were also going and who had been there before!
It was … eye opening, amazing, exhausting and overwhelming .. all in one fun filled weekend! I’m not sure that I can effectively share the feelings I had at the con. There was the session with Ivo Dominguez Jr about using your voice in magick and how sounds as simple as toning or chanting can really add to magick … and then in the later grounding session with Shon Clark I got to experience the 360 toning, and it was just … wow …
I really enjoyed the sessions with both of those gentlemen, and have taken some of the ideas for my personal practice. If you get a chance with either of those gentlemen I would suggest it. They’re very different in attitude and feel, but both are great teachers and engaging lecturers.
A friend and I attended the Battle Goddess session by T. Thorn Coyle to learn about how to blend martial arts, defense and magick. The class was fantastic and fun! I learned a lot about the importance of staying centered to stay objective and make the best decisions. And that sometimes, running away is the smart thing to do!
Thorn is another person on my “take classes from” list! I love her attitude and I always admire strong women.
I also attended a number of rituals with a wide range of focuses, and a wide range of responses. There was the beautiful ceremony of Frigga’s Frithweaving put on by Diana Paxton and a lovely set of Heathen priestesses; a fun and energetic ritual about Walking the Pentacle of Power put on by the North Bay Reclaiming group; a beautiful and joy filled Wake up the Spirit ritual by CAYA; and finaly, and most powerfully, the Little Self – Greater Selves ritual by Ivo and Michael (BTW, I LOVE their robes!)
There were also a couple of educational and fun sessions that I attended. One on the Pendulum (given by Donald Michael Kraig) and another about Tarot As an Action Item (talk by Thalassa). Both were very interesting and I’m very glad I went .. there was a lot to be learned!
At the beginning of Pantheacon, I had a goal in mind for what I wanted to learn and do. By the end of the con, I had learned something entirely different and re-focused my plans for worship. It was pretty cool how it all played out. There was one theme that was echoed in most sessions … a common message for me to grok.
The image is a pin that I got at the beginning of Pantheacon from one of the vendors (I can’t remember the name of the glass vendor but she had amazing stuff!) and wore it throughout the con. It’s a beautiful piece of artwork, and I still wear it when I can.
I’m very much looking forward to putting what I’ve learned into practice, and for Pantheacon 2012!
I’m starting to work through the exercises for the book Crafting Magick with Pen and Ink: Learn to Write Stories, Spells and Other Magickal Works by Susan Pesznecker
The first exercise is this:
Imagine you’re sitting in a Magickal Writing 101 class, and it’s your turn to introduce yourself. Write an imagined introduction telling about your experiences with magick and writing and what you hope to gain from the class.
So .. here it goes …
I recently went back through my Book of Shadows and looks at some of the spells that I had written early in my magical path. I’m not a big journal writer, so these writings are the best that I have to see how I have progressed. I’ve come a long way from that tentative spell caster who hadn’t even selected specific deities to work with yet. Unfortunately, I still have challenges when it comes to writing spells.
When I was younger, I used to write poetry. I think I still have the book that I used somewhere. Now …. I don’t know,maybe I’m too busy. Maybe I allow myself excuses so I don’t have to write.
My general practice suffers from the same challenges … I keep putting it off.
This year that is changing. This is the year of focus. I hope that working through the lessons in this book will help me to get writing again, both for spells and for not. This blog is a part of that effort.
At the Goddess Festival last year, I took a little over 4 ounces of blended fiber and spun all event on a spindle. It was an amazing experience! All the different experiences from the festival were spun into that yarn .. the fantastic rituals, the fire dancing, the amazing workshops and the wonderfully welcoming event are all in that yarn.
Once home, the yarn sat on my altar for a while, then recently I plied the yarn and worked it up into a wide scarf, or shawl. It’s long enough to go around my neck, and wide enough to lay over my shoulders.
It’s so wonderful and soft! And now it’s sitting on my altar, awaiting it’s dedication.
Lately there’s been a bit of .. well .. challenging emotions .. around my house. Both hubby and I are hitting crunch times at work, with the long hours and high stress that goes with that. So things are a bit tense around our house.
I found this spell somewhere on the web, but I didn’t write down where it was from.
I don’t know if it’s the spell or simply the fact that it’s a visual reminder for both of us to leave work at work .. but it’s working Things have been quite sane around our house since I did the spell.
The Anti-Negativity Spell
Take half a fresh lemon and place it face down in a bowl or plate of salt. Say a prayer or petition to your favorite appropriate god or goddess and place the plate or bowl in one of the main rooms in your house.
Refresh when the lemon dries out or as needed.
If the lemon rots instead of dries out, you’ve got more work to do than this simple spell can handle.
With still a lot of winter to go, I’m ready for spring! So I took the time to re-decorate my altar for late winter/spring.
I’ve got some little goddesses, one of them was given to me by a dear friend, and the other has the word “imagine” on the back of it. The altar is decorated with silk flowers and candles .. the cloth is some lovely fabric that I cut down and hemmed. The big candles are both from the Sacred Mists Shoppe .. the blue is my main altar candle, and the orange smells lovely and invigorating.
This is another step out of the broom closet for me … a public place on the interwebs where I can express my witchy and crafty thoughts and more. I have a couple of other blogs with different focuses, but they have generally slowed down or stopped. So .. we come to this one.
My first wordpress blog *grin* and hopefully it’ll continue to be a good one.
If things go the way I expect, you should be able to find my musings on all sorts of stuff, from things that I’m studying at the Sacred Mists, to Facebook, to crafting, to gaming, to the general world out there. I’ll try to keep the posts at least somewhat pagan oriented, but they’ll be just sort of … well … me.