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May 2019
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 As I sit in my parents’ livingroom, beneath the whirring ceiling fan, I sip my morning coffe and hope that my sore throat goes away. It’s miserable to be on vacation and have your body deside NOW is the time for you to get a cold, or feel somehow ‘under the weather’ (I never did understand that phrase….aren’t we all under/in the wearther?? I mean, you can’t really escape weather…but I digress).

Despite the scratchy throat, the occassional queasies and a bit of intermittent light-headedness, I am very Grateful to Be. Grateful to be on vacation and away from the stresses that working for a living brings. Grateful to have my handy dandy laptop at my disposal so I can still post the daily words for this round of Sabbat Bingo at Sacred Mists.Grateful to spend time with my parents and my brother. Grateful tosoon be visiting my Great-Aunt & Uncle as well as my cousin and his family. Grateful to be reminded of what matters in This Life.

Why the sudden gush of sentiments that makes one expect to hear Elton John’s “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” . Well, I guess it probably stems from something that happened a couple weeks ago. A dear friend of mine, who I have known since High School, lost his father after a long battle with illness. It hit me pretty hard. I was not close to his parents, but to see and feel the anguish and loss my friend was suffering was beyond difficult. Mike is the first one of us to have a parent pass away….and it made me sad to think that it is a fact of life that will begin to rear it’s grotesquely sad head again and again as my friends and I continue to get older.

So, today I am grateful. Grateful to still have my parents, foibles and all, and happy to be able to spend time with them….even if I am feeling less than stellar…’cause I know I’d be feeling a whole lot worse if they weren’t around.

5 Responses to Grateful, even while feeling “Blah”…

  • Wiccan says:

    Ok you made me cry. Sitting here sipping coffee and reading the boards and I think hey I’ll check in see what’s up in pixie land and bang I’m sobbing like a baby.
    Losing a parent is horrible even when we know if the course of natural life takes effect we will be losing those that gave us life. Losing a parent that meant the world to you is horrific. I know.
    So what gets us through it?
    Time, memories, not thinking about it, blocking it out, life happening… I think for me I get through by accepting they had a journey and in this plane it has come to an end until their next shot at it.
    I look at what they were here to do and teach and learn. You can learn a lot about another souls path if you care enough to really examine their life. My Dad still teaches me almost daily. So therefore he is always with me. I never laid him to rest but instead took him with me on my path. A path that he created in giving me life.
    So I guess it’s all in how we look at it and death. Never liked the word death. It’s too final and that’s were the heartache comes in. Death is NOT final. I know this because I take with me daily each soul that mattered to me and they live on each day with me. Every breath I take they are with me.
    Once you get through the initial phase and start looking at life differently then death becomes something not so final. They say death is a part of life. And it’s true! Death is a part of life. For me it’s just a changing of consciousness. It does not mean the soul stops existing. I believe the soul lives on in many ways after it journeys out of the vessel that held it in this plane. It’s complicated LOL Maybe we can discuss more this fall when we are together again. 🙂
    Feel better Pixie Sis! Here if ever you have need of me.
    Much love,
    Wiccan

    • Isleen says:

      Aww, geez, I didn’t mean to make ya cry, Wolfie! I was just ‘going with the flow’ of emotions and actually remembering to Blog! (I was very proud of me, hehe).

      I too believe that ‘death’ is just a transforming mechanism. Not just for those who leave this plane…but fr those of us ‘left behind’ (for lack of a better term before my morning coffee).

      There is always something to learn (which is why this gotta-know-everything-Pixie loves the internet!), but the lessons that come with losing a parent are not ones I am looking forward to. I will say this though: Watching you adapt and evolve and embrace the lessons – no matter how difficult – has been a wonderful example of courage & self discovery for those of us that know you.

      Thank you for your never ending support, Sis.
      Love You!
      ~Isleen

  • Wiccan says:

    ah you went and made me cry again LOL
    Life is a funny journey isn’t it. My best advice is when you are spending time with your folks really spend time with them…if it’s just being interested in what they have to say or having to deal with them being buttheads it’s all good…just live in that moment. That’s one regret I have is that at times I took things for granted and I wish I had it to do over again…living in the moment no matter how small. When they smile, really look at them smile, feel their smile and that smile will one day mean more to you then you’ll ever possibly know! Same with upset or anger or annoyance. Embrace it all for it’s not just a part of their journey, it’s a part of the one you will continue when they change *how* they *exist* along side you.
    But here is to many more years and good times and difficult times you will share with your parents! Here’s to your journey, all of you! ?

  • Wiccan says:

    oh and don’t worry about making me cry lol you didn’t…I just chose to 😛 besides it’s just a part of our journey together my very bestest friend! Mwah!

  • Isleen says:

    Aww, now I’m the one tearing up! LOL Here’s to us and our Path’s…Once upon a Time they were separate, now we walk side by side (Cue Song Lyrics, and waterworks LOL 😉 ) :
    SIDE BY SIDE
    (Harry Woods) (1925)

    See that sun in the morning,
    Peeking over the hill?
    I’ll bet you’re sure it always has and sure it always will.
    That’s how I feel about someone,
    How somebody feels about me.
    We’re sure we love each other
    That’s the way we’ll always be.

    Oh, we ain’t got a barrel of money,
    Maybe we’re ragged and funny
    But we’ll travel along
    Singing a song
    Side by side.

    Don’t know what’s comin’ tomorrow
    Maybe it’s trouble and sorrow
    But we’ll travel the road
    Sharing our load
    Side by side.

    Through all kinds of weather
    What if the sky should fall?
    Just as long as we’re together,
    It doesn’t matter at all.
    When they’ve all had their quarrels and parted

    We’ll be the same as we started
    Just a-traveling along
    Singing a song
    Side by side.

    We’re all hunting for something
    Something we don’t know what
    ‘Cause none of us are satisfied with things we know we’ve got.
    We all forget about moonlight,
    As soon as we’ve given our vow
    But we’d all be so happy if we’d start and sing right now:

    Oh, we ain’t got a barrel of money,
    Maybe we’re ragged and funny
    But we’ll travel along
    Singing a song
    Side by side.

    Don’t know what’s comin’ tomorrow
    Maybe it’s trouble and sorrow
    But we’ll travel the road
    Sharing our load
    Side by side.

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