Wynter Wonders

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” ― Albert Einstein

   Oct 29

Totem Animal: Spider

Lilyth and I are keeping each other accountable for daily blogging. Check out her Witches Diary and even contact her to request making your own.

Today we are starting to talk about Totem animals, and the first I’m going to discuss is Spider.


I was working on one of my lessons for the First Degree at Sacred Mists when I did an exercise to determine what my Totem animals are, and during the course of the exercise three animals showed themselves to me. The only one I was expecting was Owl (more on that another day), and the other two were a surprise to me, Beaver (which I’d never considered) and Spider (which sacred me).

Ted Andrews says in Animal Speak that animal we are most afraid of are often a Totem animal- and this makes a lot of sense in respect to Spider being a Totem of mine. In the last couple of months Spider has appeared a lot to me! The picture above was taken at my step-son’s school before a concert. I nearly walked right into it! But this was well after my lesson on my totems, and I wasn’t afraid, but rather wanted to capture the encounter instead.

We also had a beautiful Garden Spider spend her last days in our front doorway, off to the corner, not keeping us from entering or exiting.

We left her alone, let her lay her eggs and live out her life cycle it was sad the day we went and she was gone.

So what have I learned about what Spider hopes to teach those she chooses?

The Spider is associated with the Shadow self and being the ultimate weaver of your own fate. The spider is also associated with feminine energy, creativity and patience.  What I take away, at present, from Spider appearing to me is the importance of integrating all parts of me into the whole of me. I have a tendency to compartmentalize things and separate them to deal with them one at a time, but Spider says the web of life is intricate and wholly beautiful, all of it makes up who we are and trying to keep it from connecting and forming the whole is in the end detrimental to the Self. The goal is to integrate and become fully ME, and accept what that looks like. Accept the shadow and the light, the beauty and the beast within…. All is of value.

Knowing this, there is less fear, knowing this, I ask what I need to work on when Spider crosses my path, and mainly I ask how am I being authentic? How am I being true to who I am, who the Goddess has meant for me to be?

It’s a work in progress, and a work done without fear….. the weaving….. shaping your own destiny…. more than facing, but fully embracing all of myself. It is a beautiful thing.

In love and light,


   Oct 28

A Matter of Spirit

I have written and deleted this post several times today, Spirit is something that is difficult to discuss and quantify. Which is is bizarre for me because Spirit is so easy to experience….. but then it’s also the easiest to let go of when things aren’t going right. We say our Spirit is Broken, we say we are defeated….. the side effects of being disconnected from Spirit are easy to recognize, and maintaining a connection to Spirit is at times very difficult.

So how do it? How can you really connect to Spirit and utilize that connection in your life?

For me it’s being in nature, being among the “natural” elements and allowing myself to take it in. As I stand barefoot in my back yard and feel the wind as the sun beats down warm on my face and I have the sprinkler going- this is where Spirit is.

When we go to the beach and feel the hot sand beneath our feet and the salty sea air against our skin and the water comes and rolls past our ankles and sinks us into the shore as it draws back out- Spirit is there.

In those still quiet moments of contemplative Yin Yoga, as I focus on the breath in my lungs and think of Raushanna, my dear Sister who introduced me to this practice- Spirit is there.

When I am sad or angry or frustrated or overwhelmed or feeling burdened and I turn to my Sisters and they have the words that make me stop and think about the situation from a different perspective- Spirit is there too.

What is Spirit?

Spirit is the space between, the energy that binds us, it is the Divine within us and that Divine we set out to recognize in others. Sometimes we need that Divine in others to help us recognize the Divine within us again- which is why level headed friends with sound council are so important.

Spirit is probably a little different to everyone. For me it’s The Great Mother looking over me, the voice that responds when I’m home alone and talking to myself.

The connection is sometimes so strong, I feel drawn and pulled to know and connect to the Divine, but there have been times when it has been frayed and weak. We all have those times where we feel alone, as if no one else could possibly understand the pain we are in or the challenges we face. But maybe the help comes in not expecting other people to understand it and walk with you, but accepting and allowing them to just love you through it. Then in time, you can see the light for yourself and they’ll be right there with you to enjoy it.

I need to add to these thoughts, expound on them at a later date.

In love and light,


   Oct 27

Being Grounded

Another day, another post. If you haven’t realized by now, Lilyth and I are talking about The Elements. We have been cleansed with Water, Felt the Wind, and Discussed not playing with Fire…. just two elements left and today we’re going to explore Earth.

Ok, not really explore, but I am going to put down some thoughts on the element of Earth.

What do you think of when you hear the word Earth?

Me? Well, I think of home. We live on Earth. We watch Star Trek and Star Gate and the explorers are always trying to get back…. to Earth.

Yes, yes I know I am mixing Elements and Planets…. but there is a reason. So just bear with me.

We call to the Watchtowers of the North, the Powers of Earth…. for their stability, protection, prosperity, wisdom (remember Airis knowledge and the pursuit of learning). With Earth wr grow roots and get planted firmly applying all that Air Knowledge to the Wisdom that allows us to thrive, prosper and make good choices that are for our Highest Good and not just the good of the moment.

How do you go about connecting to Earth?

Well barefoot of course!

I am very fortunate to have many kinds of trees in my backyard. I can go outside and walk through my yard and when I stand still I can feel the vibrations of the Earth and the enerfy of the roots of the trees.  It is very calming and brings me a sense of connectedness. It is so important, especially being involved with an on-line Coven where I can’t just call up my Sisters and meet up for a hug.

I perform my healing rituals daily outside and picture that energy going through the Earth to reach them, wherever they are, and power it with my love and care for them. It has the added effect of making me feel incredible as well, and helps me to sleep soundly after a long night at work.

So what about you? How do you connect to Earth and remain grounded?

In light and love,


   Oct 26

To play with Fire

Let me preface this by saying none of the Elements are to be “played” with.

I am out of the house, sitting in Barnes and Noble and keeping myself accountable to Lilyth. A link to her blog can be seen in my sidebar, definitely worth the trip to see her.

You have heard, I am sure, the saying

If you play with fire you are going to get burned

But is it true? Granted, as I said at the outset…. you shouldn’t “play” with any of the elements. Maybe playing is the problem.

What if you embrace Fire? What if you consult with fire? What if you commune with fire?

Would you still be burned? And is burned always a bad thing?

Thr Phoenix dies in a firey glory to be reborn from the ashes, each time beautiful, each time awe inspiring.

Fire transforms…. nothing contacta Fire and comes away unchanged. Fire ignites our passion and awakens our soul to pleasure and pain….. possibly why there is such a fine, fine line between the two.

Fire calls us to action…. feeling love for someone isn’t enough….. thinking about thrm doesn’t count in this realm…. Fire says show me. Fire offers up the challenge that our very being cannot ignore.

Fire says quit whining that you are overweight and do something about it. Fire says you don’t like where you life has you? Not a problem, come to me and I will burn it all and from the ashes you can rebuild.

Just ad Water cleanses, so Fire purifies and makes new- just Fire often starts with destruction and a challenge is set for total change.

You can’t come in with Fire and say half-ass is enough…. it isn’t. All or nothing are the options. You come to Fire with All or Nothing and Fire says… You will never be the same.

In love and light,


   Oct 25

I can see the wind

I was a Christian for a long time and music has always been a part of my path… I love music and good lyrics move me. There was a band I listened to in High School and I even went on a youth retreat where they spent the weekend with us… I will forever remember The Morning Song and the band Echelon. Where my ideology may have changed, and no longer line up with theirs I think of their music often…. there is this one song and I don’t remember the title but part of the lyrics is:

I can see the wind, I can feel the breeze, and I like the way it’s blowing through the palmetto trees

What is it about the element of Air? Christians use it as proof that just because something is unseen doesn’t mean it isn’t there…. that you can see the evidence of existence even if you can’t see the thing itself.

Air is our thoughts, our consciousness, our awareness…. to me Music is a prime example of the element of Air. We think and feel and know things that we can’t always grasp and hold and say “see this is it” but through the element of Air we can make it real because it is real inside of our heads, it is real within us.

That voice you hear when making a decision, those moments when you talk to yourself as you work out a problem (come on, I know it isn’t just me)…. this is Air.

Air is the acquistion of knowledge with the intent to apply it to wisdom…. Air is the brief notion to call your friens because it has been awhile…. Air is the knowing that there are others occupying the planet and that it can’t always be about you…. Air is the quest to learn something new everyday…

Air is the music that moves us because music puts in to words the ideals and thoughts and joys and sorrows that we can’t always use logic to make sense of…

Air is the breathe we take…. the wind in the trees and the flapping of the hummingbirds wings…..

The Bible says man cannot live on bread alone…. and this is true even for the Pagan…. we don’t merely hunger for food and drink…. we hunger for knowledge and understanding…. this is Air…. a crucial and vital aspect of our corporeal existence.

In light and Love,


   Oct 24

Waters Run Deep

It is time for Ritual, or some other activity that requires the Calling of the Quarters, the creation of a Circle, Sacred Space separate from the World of Men on the edge of the Realms of the Mighty. Starting in the East the Quarters are called, the Mighty Watchtowers are summoned and humbly asked to attend and lend their protection, to stand witness to these Rites. The Powers of Air, The Powers of Fire, the Powers of Water and the Powers of Earth- they lend us their witness, their protection, their knowledge, their individual truths.

Let’s talk a little bit about the element of Water……



Water is cleansing, after a long day at work or dealing with family and the stress of life, a hot bubble bath or a long hot shower can rejuvenate and make you feel like a whole new person. As the water washes over you the cares of the day seem to run right off of you and down the drain far, far away from you. True, they may be waiting for you right outside the shower door, but for that moment, under the warm running water you know it is okay, this too shall pass, and the dirt and grime and nonsense from the day is washed away.

Water is healing, let the healing waters wash over you…. you soak a sore ankle, ice a tired muscle. Looking at the picture above, a shot of somewhere in French Polynesia, and what do you think? I look at it and think, man if I could just get there, nothing else would matter. Swim in the crystal water near the shore…. how refreshing, how revitalizing….

Water is the element of intuition, psychic work, emotions, feelings, compassion, empathy, the mysteries of yourself. To me it is the element that connects us all…. let me explain that….

Our planet, according to these people is made up of 71% water, the human body, according to these folks up to 60% of the adult human body is water…. that’s a lot and I don’t think it is coincidence that we are composed of the element that so greatly composes our planet. As witches we talk a lot about the energy that connects us all, the universal energy that runs through everyone and everything and up through to our higher selves and into the cosmos, we can tap into this energy to learn about ourselves to connect the collective unconscious, and I don’t disagree there is this amazing energy that binds us, but there is a truth that binds us as well…. water flows through us, it courses through our veins and courses through our earth…. it washes away the excess and can make smooth out the rough edges.

The process isn’t easy, and it isn’t for the faint of heart, but if you take the time to truly know yourself, face yourself- all of yourself, the good with the bad, then you are going to spend a great deal of time with the element of Water. Many say Water is Love, because it is connected with empathy- but water is emotion- and love isn’t the only emotion.

Water is purifying, but the purification process doesn’t come easily, it takes work. And Water can be dangerous- come before the Powers of Water ill-prepared and you can drown in your own emotions. The over eater, the heavy drinker, the incessant crier, the insecure, the heavy hearted- an imbalance of their ability to access the Element of Water and temper it with access to the other Elements as well.

So what can you do, where can you turn, how can you learn to work with the Powers of Water in moderation? So that your experience is one of reaping blessings and not wreaking havoc?

Ask for help, ask the Undines to guide you, seek to meet King Nixsa. Ask that the positive aspects of the Element of Water be brought forth in you that you may be more compassionate, loving, forgiving, sensitive, easygoing, modest, free flowing and take small steps each day to make a concerted effort to bring those traits into your life.

Don’t let fear stop you, for fear and love cannot exist in the same place, come to the Water and let it flow over you, through you, around you, connect and come away changed.

Many Blessings,


   Oct 23

Daily Post with Lilyth

In talking with my dear friend Lilyth we decided it would be a good idea if we nudged each other and held each other accountable for a daily blog post. Today we are both doing an affirmation and a card pull. Affirmations are incredibly powerful, you own a positive statement thus making it a part of your reality, part of the world as you create it for yourself. This helps with your health, both physical and mental, your attitude and your perspective.

Affirmation: I am a strong, confident, and beautiful shining light for the Goddess who blesses me each day.

For my card pull I am using my Arthurian Tarot deck by Caitlin and John Matthews. This deck is new to me and I purchased it to use with a study of the book Ladies of the Lake that I am doing with my friends The Daughters of the Sacred Grail. I have not really worked with the deck and would like to get to know it and connect with its energies.

The card I have pulled is Grail Nine.

Here under a tree in what must be winter as the tree is bare a cauldron steams over hot coals. The Cauldron hangs from 3 chains that come together at a cross bar, think of a spit you’d roast a pig on. The cauldron is adorned with a woman and two boars and the coals glow red hot beneath it, the fire glows and the night sky is above.

Under the night sky on a cold winters night the Cauldron is full and offers the seeker their greatest desire, this card asks “What is the desire of your heart?” for no one comes to the cauldron and leaves unsatisfied.

I desire a balanced connection to the Goddess that can be seen by those who look upon me. That it be evidenced in my health and countenance, that my heart be a heart that gives freely without condition and that I be able to guide those who need help and encourage those who need encouragement and that I be a true and reliable friend and a steadfast seeker of knowledge and truth and apply that knowledge to wisdom.

Today I come to the cauldron seeking the love for myself that is needed to be a Priestess that the Goddess can gladly call her own and open her arms to when the Mists part and I have found Avalon and reached the shores of Home.

Many Blessings to you,


   Oct 10

Wynter Wonders about Weight

When I was in High School I was in the Marching Band, I didn’t have a car and walked everywhere I went, everywhere! I had a couple of really great friends, but one of them was Ashli and we used to call each other up and when we wanted to get together we’d start walking toward each other’s houses and then go from there together where ever it was we were headed. I thought I was fat, like many young girls, I truly did. I was 5’5″ tall and 150 lbs and truly believed I was fat. Most of my friends were tiny, like size 2, 4, 6 tiny, and I was a size 10/12. Depending on if it was Marching Season or not, practices were long and hot and like I said, I walked everywhere.

Now, it is a few years later, more than a decade, go Class of ’99!! 1 horrible marriage, 3 amazing children, and an actual loving and committed relationship later, I am still 5’5″ but now in a 255 lb package. I have to officially weigh in, as I flux between 252 and 258, I’ve only seen the other side of 250 once in the last 8 years, and it was briefly in 2013. At my biggest I was 280 lbs, but that was scary close to 300 and I freaked out, maybe not freaked out, but kind of freaked out, as I don’t want to hit 300 lbs. But my divorce was really hard on me, was my choice to leave, but wasn’t a safe situation and I left. But I had spent the last 3 years of my marriage horribly depressed and the months following the separation horribly depressed and deluded.

I have tried several times to lose weight, hey I successfully made it from 280 lbs down to 255 lbs, and I have pretty much maintained at 255 lbs for a long time. But now I’m tired of being fat and I’m tired of being tired and sick so much of the time. Headaches, hypertension, colds, muscle aches, back pain, digestive problems (from bad eating), and a general overall feeling on a regular basis of being sick, a lot.

I was talking to my work partner tonight and I have this great pedometer app on my phone and used it to find out that one lap from the Med Tech office around the long hall back to the Med Tech office is 0.1 miles. With so much down time over night we thought we could walk at work and help to encourage each other to be more healthy. So I walked tonight, 1 full mile. And there are benefits to doing it here too, in the Winter it is heated in the Summer it is air conditioned, it’s inside so walking outside in the dark and the weather won’t be an issue. And we’re here with so much down time between rounds and laundry that it is completely doable.

The Virgo in me is screaming to make a plan, a way to be accountable, ideas to stay motivated. How to build up distance and the possibility of bringing hand weights. But for today, I walked a mile while at work, and it felt really good, and I purpose to continue this.


Blessed Be,



   Oct 01

The Goddess and the Weaver

I came across this song over on YouTube- there are some amazing Wiccan Playlists available on YouTube- so if you are interested in finding music to listen to while meditating, or when doing magickal work, or writing in your BOS, or just to have music that connects you to the Goddess, then check it out, there are several.

This song really struck me tonight, we’ve had a Garden Spider living in our front doorway for the last several weeks, and I know she is harmless, and she makes a beautiful web, and we have left her alone. But as is her life cycle she is dying, her web has gotten lower and lower to the ground and she isn’t nearly as active as she was, and her web really looks abysmal. My partner pointed it out to me today and it made me sad. Spider is one of my totem animals, and I’ll have to talk sometime about what I have learned and continue to learn from Spider, but this song kind of ties into that, or at least brought her to mind.  I was able to find the lyrics, and I’d like to document them here.

Music is very important to me, I listen to different music based on my moods and music has the strong power of changing my moods…. my taste in music is very eclectic, ranging from Ace of Base to Tim McGraw to Nickleback to Megan Trainor to Avril Lavigne to NatureScapes to Tchaikovsky…. but here is where I am in this moment.

The Goddess and the Weaver By Adrienne Piggott

Chorus: Arachnia weaves and she weaves so well
She weaves a passage where the Gods will fly
Athena laughs as she casts her spell
While she watches from her loom on high

Athena, Athena
Goddess-born lady, you’re a jealous one
And Arachnia knows that you were watching her
Waiting for her work to be undone
Athena, have you set the quest
Will you take the weave and will you break the weft
Or will you let this lady spin her tapestry
Of a tale untold and then set her free?

Arachni, Arachnia
The Goddess Athena’s got a quest for you
And you must weave a story of the Gods that rule
In all their mystery and you must tell it true
So Arachnia’s woven the seven moons
She’s spun the silver thread upon an applewood loom
And she’s told the story of the Gods that rule
In all their mystery and yeah she’s told it true

Athena, Athena
Goddess-born lady, you’re an angry one
And as you spin your spell around Arachnia
To shift her shape into a weaving one
And as Arachnia sits and weaves upon her web
She casts her mind back and she remembers when
She told the story of the Gods that rule
In all their mystery and she told it true
So Athena came to earth disguised as a crone
To gaze upon the tapestry this mortal women’s sewn
And in and out the fabric that stretched across the loom
The sins and the secrets of the Gods were shown

The song can be heard here:



   Sep 28

A Blessing

I bless this journal and dedicate it to my journey and the discovery of myself and who I am in service to The Great Mother.