Not so distant Shadow

A great deal of time is spent talking about doing Shadow work. Looling into yourself and facing the darkness. For many, at least for me, my first delvings into the Shadow caused me to look a great deal into my past. Into my childhood. A lot of time was spent dwelling on things beyond my control (I was a child) that caused me pain.

Facing issues with my father, issues with men I saw come and go from my life, not so nice men that occasionally inhabited my world. Dealing with torments of a speech delay that has since long passed and getting to the root of things that left me with an overall sense of not being worthy.

I think that many face some of the same issues and not everyone deals with it the same way. Some get stuck in it and never allow themselves the possibility to grow. These people become victims in their own mind and never reclaim their power. Sometimes the level of accountability is just too great and it is easier to live in a place where nothing is in our control because then nothing is ever our fault.

Owl causes me to look inward, at myself, at my own motivations and desires and to transform and take flight. It isn’t always an easy totem to live up to the expectations of.

But what about facing the Shadow within the person I am now? The Shadow side of myself that can be selfish and demanding and allows for the darkness to be involved.
I was told by a dear friend in New Zealand that I am all light. And while I appreciate the sentiment I have to disagree. No one is all Light all of the time.

There is the part of me that demands my needs be met and the part of me that is petty and selfish and controlling….. and the part of me that is pragmatic and allows for certain discomforts in order to maintain overall comfort and stability.

There is a not so distant Shadow, one formed by the choices I make every day, now, as an adult. And I am okay with that. And those who love me are okay with that too. Because it isn’t enough to just seek to see the Divine in everyone and love them because the light is there. We have to equally embrace the Shadow in ourselves and accept the Shadow in others so that we can love the whole…. not just the parts that make that love come easy.

In love and light as well as darkness,

Wynter

Posted on 5 November '14 by , under Uncategorized.