Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

Thoughts on Holiday Stress

Thursday, December 4th, 2014

Do you find yourself frustrated and overwrought by all the demands of trying to have the perfect holiday dinner, gifts, and traditions? Many of us set ourselves up for failure by demanding perfection that we can not deliver. This push for perfection brings up an over abundance of stress and anxiety and leaves us feeling disillusioned and too worn out to enjoy the holiday season.

What drives us to the perfectionism? Often times we are comparing ourselves to others or afraid that we are not going to measure up to the expectations of others. Or perhaps we are afraid that if we do not have the perfect dinner, decorations or gifts that we will loose the respect, love, and acceptance of family and friends. Perhaps it is simply that we need the validation from others that we did a good job. abstract-christmas-tree-vector

Regardless of the reason behind why we strive for perfection, more often than not we can’t achieve it. Too often our goal of perfection is unrealistic and ultimately harmful to our health. Especially during this season of spending, parties and family gatherings we need to look at perfection as Geoffrey F. Fisher commented “when you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.”

Every attempt we make at having a perfect holiday season is hindered by the fact that others may not be inline with our ideas, money restrictions may not allow what it is that we want, or even the weather may not cooperate. Perhaps even the fact that it just doesn’t resonate with who we are inside. We need to learn that our constant striving to be perfect only serves to stifle the accomplishment of a joyful and free spirited holiday season and turn it into a scripted, ridged, and unfulfilling chore.

This year attempt to realize your own unique potential. Accept that limitations are there and you can not change that. Liberate yourself with the understanding that things do not have to be “just so.” Give yourself permission to go with the flow, and to let things slide if it isn’t working out the way that you had hoped. You will find yourself faced with unbelievable moments of magick if you let go of the obsession with being perfect or making a mistake. Not having things go as planned is not the catastrophe that most of us make it out to be in our minds. Sure it might be an inconvenience or a momentary embarrassment when you take to opening your gifts and find that you put Bob’s tag on Sally’s gift. Embrace that as a moment to join in some gaiety and laughter.

Make a conscious choice this year to accept your best – even if that is not perfection. Accept that each time something doesn’t work out exactly as you planned it is a learning opportunity for you. Chose to accept that the expectations of others are simply that – their expectations.

Step out of the habit of saying “this is how we always do it so it has to be done this way.” Traditions are good, there are comfortable and soothing but when they become “ho hum” maybe its time to try something new. If it doesn’t fit try something different. Trying new things, making mistakes, taking the road less travelled are all part of things that make this life and especially this holiday season bright and rewarding. Stop focusing on being and having everything perfect and don’t let the “perfection bug” paralyze your own creativity, inspiration, and joy. Do what you can, do it well and enjoy the process of learning and growing.

During this holiday season, make realistic goals – define them clearly and how to achieve them. If you look at the goal and it fills you with panic or fear then it is an unrealistic goal. Sure the season if full of challenges: places to go, people to see, things to do, but it should not leave you feeling frustrated and angry with yourself for not accomplishing what you wanted to do. Celebrate the fulfillment of each goal as a job well done – even if it wasn’t done perfectly. Learn for next time. Concentrate on one thing at a time and find your flow – the one that brings you through the season likely still tired but content that you have done what you wanted and have grown and learned through it all. Make this years holiday celebrations an extension of who you are and what you are about.

Make it a season of magick for you and yours.

Yule Blessings from my home to Yours!